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Adopting a second time, how long after the first?

(7 Posts)
Irrelevantirreverent Sat 27-May-17 21:09:30

Just a couple of questions as I'm starting to think about adding another child to the family. But...how long after the first adoption placement/order did you adopt again? Did you use the same LA? Does receiving adoption support affect the chances of a subsequent match? What is the climate like at the minute? Are there still very few children available? I don't want to approach the LA yet as I think we'd need to go through a different one if we do decide to go ahead. Thanks!!

donquixotedelamancha Sat 27-May-17 23:40:01

1. We were placed with DD2 about 18 months after DD1. Two adoption processes in a row is a bit exhausting.
2. We used the same VA, because they were fab. Same LA, they were not.
3. No, but the issues that cause your child to need the support will need to be considered carefully for the match. You may need to take longer in matching, and be a little cautious to make sure the match is right.
4. Grants/payments at placement are rare and ongoing allowances are hard to get (if you adopted in last 3/4 years you probably knew that already). FtA placements are common now. LAs are probably even more stretched over the last 5 years. Most agencies are working as part of big consortia with neighbouring VAs and LAs now.
5. There are (as ever) lots of sibling groups, older kids and those with complex needs waiting to be adopted. There are never very few children waiting but, as has been the case for 4 years or so, there are fewer babies coming through. Of course the specifics might be quite different in your area.

What makes you reluctant to go with the same LA?

Irrelevantirreverent Sun 28-May-17 17:04:31

Thanks for your reply. The LA just made a few errors with matching that hugely affected us in the beginning, so I'd be wary of going with them again. They did say we wouldn't have the same SW again, so maybe it would be different.
The support is because she has additional needs so I've had to give up work. Presumably this would be a huge problem if we went for another one. I'm not sure they'd even consider us, so this is all very hypothetical and possibly me dreaming! It would be child number 3 so again, we'd be bottom of the list. We would consider a little one with additional needs (medical/behavioural etc) but I don't think we would stand a chance.
I don't think we would be allowed to do fta either because of the effect on the existing children in the family. I can totally imagine 2 adoptions in such a short time to be utterly exhausting. As much as I'd love to I don't know if I would want to endure the whole process again and it's been 3 years since we did it!! Sorry read it back and it's a very negative reply from me!

Barbadosgirl Sun 28-May-17 18:47:03

We are coming up to three years post placement and are nearly 2 1/2 years post AO and are about to start our assessment for No. 2.

We did not go with our VA this time, we fell out with them at the end. We are going with an LA within the same consortium as the LA where our son was placed.

I don't know much about adoption support/adoption allowance.

I think there are fewer children coming through the system but we are dual heritage adopters and I don't think the situation has changed much there- they are still crying out for dual heritage adopters. We are being approved for a child who is 0-2 and they don't think we will be waiting long after approval, a few months perhaps.

donquixotedelamancha Sun 28-May-17 22:04:05

OP your reply isn't negative, you are thinking through the issues.

I think you mean that you get ongoing adoption allowance? I don't think this is an issue, indeed having one partner at home can be a big positive. The key will be your capacity (support network, experience, how you manage DC1). I doubt you'd find it too hard to get matched, lots of people adopt more than one child with significant needs. If you feel able to do so then you are heros, well done.

Don't take on more than you can manage- your existing family comes first. The process is a little easier second time through because you know what to expect. I'd look at a couple of nearby VAs and LAs. Ask to speak to previous adopters if possible. You know what to look for now.

Irrelevantirreverent Sun 28-May-17 22:25:08

Thank you, yes sorry that it was I meant. We get an ongoing adoption allowance, although it's not known when it will end.
I would love another with additional needs, and we have a small but brilliant support network but I remember how hard it was for the first year. I worry that things are great now and I wouldn't want to upset that, but I can't stop thinking about another, before the age gap gets too large. Also because I'm not working we don't have masses of money so I'm not sure SW would be keen.
I think I need to ask, but I think after the fuss we made that first year we'll be laughed out the building!

Hels20 Mon 29-May-17 13:39:04

Adopting DonQuixotes numbering

1) we started the process of adopting again after DS had been with us for about 26 months. DS2 moved in with us 9 months later.

2) we went with a different LA because our first one wouldn't take us as they didn't think they would be able to match us with a child.

3 and 4) have no idea I am afraid.

5) I think things have changed in the last 15 months - our LA said that almost all of their approved adopters had been matched (usually with other LA children) and they now had a deficit of adopters - which was not the case a year ago. However, I definitely felt we were pushed to take DS2 - they kept on saying "you may never get this opportunity again". "What are you looking for?" (Even though we were very clear!)

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