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ending placement

(28 Posts)
EmilyEloise Mon 22-May-17 10:36:17

We had a lo placed with us earlier in the year. After many difficulties we have asked our VA to end this placement for all our sakes. Our friends and family don't know how we've managed so far.
My worries are that this request will not be acted upon and we will be left to cope. What options do we have? What support can be given?
I said I can't manage on my own in the school hols.

Koalaquakers Mon 22-May-17 12:27:14

I think you posted on adoption uk, if not then someone is in the same boat and excellent advice was given.

UnderTheNameOfSanders Mon 22-May-17 14:17:06

No advice but flowers as this must have been a very difficult decision for you to reach. Look after yourselves.

C0RAL Mon 22-May-17 17:33:27

If you have asked them to end an adoption placement then they will do so pretty quickly. Usually with a week or two.

If you are a foster carer then it might take a bit longer, while they look for another placement. Unless there are serious risks.

When you ask about options and support - what do you mean ? Do you mean support for you between now and the child leaving ?

Or do you mean that if you had enough support you might think about the child continuing to live with you?

I'm sorry, this must be a very difficult situation for you and your family.

EmilyEloise Mon 22-May-17 22:31:24

It's stressful not knowing what's happening if anything. A weeks a long time in this situation.
Support re child leaving - not having been in this position we don't know what can be done.
Thank you for your posts.

C0RAL Mon 22-May-17 22:49:21

It's your SWs job to support you through this time. Have they been a help to you over these last few months ? is it an inter agency placement ?

EmilyEloise Tue 23-May-17 13:33:11

SW has been supportive but is fairly new to the post and hasn't had day to day experience of looking after a child just like us!
Child's LA is a few hours away. I'll keep ringing and chasing to see what's happening

C0RAL Wed 24-May-17 08:20:33

I'm sorry your SW sounds pleasant but ineffectual. Which isn't what you need at this stage.

Do you know her senior and is it worth contacting her ? It's really their job to sort this out as it's an inter agency placement .How long is it since you formally notified them that you can't continue with the placement ?

I'm sorry you and LO are left in limbo like this. It's in no ones interest for this to drag on.

OlennasWimple Thu 25-May-17 20:20:21


EmilyEloise Thu 25-May-17 21:41:49

Lo has now left - tears all round.

UnderTheNameOfSanders Thu 25-May-17 21:49:40


Look after yourselves. It will take you a lot of time to come to terms with this. Best wishes.

Mrscollydog Thu 25-May-17 21:51:15

Sending huge love your way. I cannot imagine how hard this is for you all. We are here for you.

tldr Fri 26-May-17 00:31:29

I'm sorry Emily. I can't imagine. flowers

DancingLedge Fri 26-May-17 01:23:27

Heartfelt good wishes.
Few things as hard as thisflowers

2old2beamum Fri 26-May-17 20:24:21

My heart goes out to you and you family. We had to do this a few years ago but it was the right thing for her and the rest of the family. But I do still feel guilty.
flowers good luck

EmilyEloise Sat 27-May-17 20:22:26

Quiet house and empty bedrooms.
Never again - but what do you do after this.

UnderTheNameOfSanders Sat 27-May-17 20:34:13

Give yourselves time to grieve for the little girl and the life you thought you were going to have together.
Take time to recover from the emotional turmoil, consider counselling.
Try to go out and do some 'normal' stuff.
Find joy in little things.

Remember it isn't your fault. The SWs shouldn't have matched you and/or should have understood her needs better and/or should have supported you better. The BPs that caused her to need adopting caused damage. All you did was to try to pick up the pieces.

Italiangreyhound Sun 28-May-17 09:24:02

Sending you hugs at a very difficult time.


dibly Sun 28-May-17 21:05:55

I'm so sorry, and hope you get any help you need to be able to move on.

MumInTraining66 Fri 02-Jun-17 17:55:12

If it got that bad, it wasn't meant to be and you did the right thing for her and for you. Good luck for a happy future.

Rosieandtim Fri 02-Jun-17 21:23:19

Thoughts for you all at a difficult time. flowers

flapjackfairy Sat 03-Jun-17 16:46:29

How are you all doing Emily. Thinking of you x

EmilyEloise Sun 04-Jun-17 20:11:17

Finding out you can eat too much choc.
OH back at work, and he's booked a hol in the sun for us.
I'm not so motivated, leaving work and looking for new position.
Seeing family but not been in touch with friends. Mixed feelings about keeping in touch with those people we know through adoption.
Thanks for support.

Tillymintsmama Mon 05-Jun-17 19:57:20

Can you tell us anything about what you were finding so difficult? Are you still hoping to adopt?

C0RAL Mon 05-Jun-17 21:51:15

Why do you ask Tilly ?

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