Today, I spoke to LO's pleasantly useless SW, and she said "see you at the celebration hearing!" I thought it would be us and the judge. Tbh, we've all had enough of SWs, especially the useless LA SWs. She is inappropriate around LO, who has attachment problems, and gives cuddles, "I want to take you home!" Etc.
If it means sitting politely with her again, I don't actually want to go. We're having a christening, so family and friends will celebrate then. LO is young enough that court will mean nothing, except be a long journey, as our local court doesn't do them, a bunch of strangers, and stress.
It sounds like another hoop to endure, that I know I don't have to, so why do it to LO?
we never invited SWs to any of ours. just us, our kids and we invited grandparents but no other family. it is short - 20 mins - then we made a day of it as figured the kids were out of school anyways and we had traveled for it.
you don't have to invite her, and if she contacts you to attend, just say oh we are having family only or whatever.....
Yep, exactly what the others said. You invite whoever you want- if you don't want her, don't invite her.
I doubt she'll know the date and time unless she contacts the court. It's a bit cheeky to assume an invite- not everyone does. I doubt she'd just turn up, but boston gave you the perfect line if you want to make things clear.
You don't have to do it at all if you don't want to - as far as I'm aware there's no obligation to. I enjoyed ours (dd was old enough to understand and feel the importance), but I didn't invite our SW.
We didn't do it. We invited close family for a lovely day out and a meal and took loads of photos.
At just under 2 years old I really couldn't see anything in it for dc (waiting around, court building, being shushed etc) and our also useless sw telling us she (dc) would have her photo taken sitting on the judge's lap just made me a little bit sick in my mouth.
Just FYI, there was no sitting on judges knee/suggestion of sitting on judges knee with ours and the only photos taken were of us! We love our photo, it's on display, so we can point at it and talk about Becoming Tldrs without it being obvious to people who don't know what it is.
Probably phoning the court is enough - if not they'll advise. They were probably the most helpful people we spoke to throughout whole process.
no sitting on knees here either....but did sit in the chair which is weirdly exciting to toddlers....
our photo lives on the fridge lol.....and when people sent baby photos to school our dc sent in the court photo from when he was 3 (had no baby photos) which was proudly displayed...and i got to lecture school and instead of a baby photo board they did a 'timeline' board instead...(proud moment!)
i think if you cancel that is your chance gone.....i think...ring them.
but i also know you can transfer it to your local court if you wish.....we declined but were offered that option...that may work for you. its worth going - ours was lovely every time!
Our local court doesn't do them. Glad to hear no sitting on knees! My (angelic and not useless) SW is going to mention to LO's that we want to keep it small, so if it's just us, and it's a one off opportunity, I probably will do it.
"so if it's just us, and it's a one off opportunity, I probably will do it"
Definitely can be just you. I think even the availability of knees is unlikely- I've only heard of/experienced the photo on the big chair. I'm pretty sure you could only schedule it within a few months of AO at most.
It's pretty low key, very quick and certainly not essential; but I think its a nice memory.
Both SWs came to DDs. There was no sitting on judge's knee but DD got a teddy from the judge and got to put the judges wig on (as did the teddy). It was all very informal, just v immediate family and we took lots of snaps which DD likes to look at.
Personally I would recommend going, we're a good few years down the line now and it's been really helpful over the years to have photos of the occasion.