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Celebration Hearing

(18 Posts)
Cindersfurslippers Thu 30-Mar-17 14:16:02

Who attends the celebration hearing, please?

Today, I spoke to LO's pleasantly useless SW, and she said "see you at the celebration hearing!" I thought it would be us and the judge. Tbh, we've all had enough of SWs, especially the useless LA SWs. She is inappropriate around LO, who has attachment problems, and gives cuddles, "I want to take you home!" Etc.

If it means sitting politely with her again, I don't actually want to go. We're having a christening, so family and friends will celebrate then. LO is young enough that court will mean nothing, except be a long journey, as our local court doesn't do them, a bunch of strangers, and stress.

It sounds like another hoop to endure, that I know I don't have to, so why do it to LO?

bostoncremecrazy Thu 30-Mar-17 18:40:49

we never invited SWs to any of ours.
just us, our kids and we invited grandparents but no other family.
it is short - 20 mins - then we made a day of it as figured the kids were out of school anyways and we had traveled for it.

you don't have to invite her, and if she contacts you to attend, just say oh we are having family only or whatever.....

Cindersfurslippers Thu 30-Mar-17 18:50:59

Will she be sent the date and time?

donquixotedelamancha Thu 30-Mar-17 19:42:07

Yep, exactly what the others said. You invite whoever you want- if you don't want her, don't invite her.

I doubt she'll know the date and time unless she contacts the court. It's a bit cheeky to assume an invite- not everyone does. I doubt she'd just turn up, but boston gave you the perfect line if you want to make things clear.

MyDogEatsBalloons Thu 30-Mar-17 19:58:21

You don't have to do it at all if you don't want to - as far as I'm aware there's no obligation to. I enjoyed ours (dd was old enough to understand and feel the importance), but I didn't invite our SW.

Cindersfurslippers Thu 30-Mar-17 20:02:38

I think she said that she would contact the court! I only really caught on to what she was saying when she was saying 'It's so nice to be there to celebrate it!'

I don't think I do want to. I have a relative who assumes she would be invited, but isn't an easy guest, and it could well be shaping up to be a stressful 20 mins in court!

conserveisposhforjam Fri 31-Mar-17 22:20:36

We didn't do it. We invited close family for a lovely day out and a meal and took loads of photos.

At just under 2 years old I really couldn't see anything in it for dc (waiting around, court building, being shushed etc) and our also useless sw telling us she (dc) would have her photo taken sitting on the judge's lap just made me a little bit sick in my mouth.

cindersfurslippers Fri 31-Mar-17 22:51:54

Thank you, conserve. The only reason I can see to go, is to stage a photograph. But sitting on the judge's knee sounds very inappropriate. LO isn't yet 2, either. They won't remember.

If I say no now, is there any way we can do it in the future? How do I say no? Just ring the court and cancel?

tldr Fri 31-Mar-17 23:02:15

Just FYI, there was no sitting on judges knee/suggestion of sitting on judges knee with ours and the only photos taken were of us! We love our photo, it's on display, so we can point at it and talk about Becoming Tldrs without it being obvious to people who don't know what it is.

Probably phoning the court is enough - if not they'll advise. They were probably the most helpful people we spoke to throughout whole process.

conserveisposhforjam Fri 31-Mar-17 23:42:53

Yes we cancelled with court direct.

Quite disappointed that you didn't get one of you on the judge's knee tldr...

bostoncremecrazy Fri 31-Mar-17 23:48:23

no sitting on knees here either....but did sit in the chair which is weirdly exciting to toddlers....

our photo lives on the fridge lol.....and when people sent baby photos to school our dc sent in the court photo from when he was 3 (had no baby photos) which was proudly displayed...and i got to lecture school and instead of a baby photo board they did a 'timeline' board instead...(proud moment!)

i think if you cancel that is your chance gone.....i think...ring them.

but i also know you can transfer it to your local court if you wish.....we declined but were offered that option...that may work for you. its worth going - ours was lovely every time!

cindersfurslippers Sat 01-Apr-17 09:23:43

Our local court doesn't do them. Glad to hear no sitting on knees! My (angelic and not useless) SW is going to mention to LO's that we want to keep it small, so if it's just us, and it's a one off opportunity, I probably will do it.

donquixotedelamancha Sat 01-Apr-17 09:37:02

"so if it's just us, and it's a one off opportunity, I probably will do it"

Definitely can be just you. I think even the availability of knees is unlikely- I've only heard of/experienced the photo on the big chair. I'm pretty sure you could only schedule it within a few months of AO at most.

It's pretty low key, very quick and certainly not essential; but I think its a nice memory.

Rainatnight Sat 01-Apr-17 10:08:59

That's so presumptuous of her! The whole point of the AO going through is that you get to be free of SWs! grin

tldr Sat 01-Apr-17 10:50:37

There was no fancy chair or indeed judges - three magistrates or one magistrate and two randoms, I'm really not sure who they were, and tbh it didn't really matter.

Our (lovely, not useless) SW came, LOs SW was going to come but cancelled which I was pleased about - I think her being there might have upset LO.

luckylucky24 Sat 01-Apr-17 19:57:04

The SW in our LA turn up invited or not. I have heard from a few adopters who specifically did not want SW there but they turned up uninvited.

PoppyStellar Sat 01-Apr-17 20:23:22

Both SWs came to DDs. There was no sitting on judge's knee but DD got a teddy from the judge and got to put the judges wig on (as did the teddy). It was all very informal, just v immediate family and we took lots of snaps which DD likes to look at.

Personally I would recommend going, we're a good few years down the line now and it's been really helpful over the years to have photos of the occasion.

sweetchilli77 Sun 02-Apr-17 22:54:10

My baby has just had ours, we did FTA, and baby was 8 months. SW did not attend which I'm glad. We just wanted at least a moment without them.

It was so laid back, very informal. The judge was lovely and she was happy for us to have a picture with her and the baby.

We wasn't going to go but so glad we did now. It was a lovely significant part and end to the process.

The judge had an assistant who sat at the side, he took pictures off their own camera and gave them to us for free, which i thought was a lovely gesture.

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