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Sleep advice needed

(10 Posts)
user1471555041 Wed 22-Mar-17 08:42:53

Hi, our baby girl has been home for 6 months and recently turned 1. Sleep hasn't always been the easiest thing but has gradually got worse. We have a structured relaxing bedtime routine and generally she will go off to sleep ok about 7. She will wake several times during the evening and I'm able to go into her room and settle her back to sleep relatively quickly however the real problem come at about 3 o'clock in the morning when she wakes up screaming. I can't settle her in the same way I would in the evening, I have tried rocking her, taking her in our bed, anything I can to settle her but nothing works she just wants me to hold her and seems wide awake. I offer her milk, water but she isn't interested. This can go on for the remainder of the night. I am obviously pleased she wants to be with me but waking up at 3 every day is making me and her so grumpy! I'm wondering if we should take her cot back in our room. Any advice welcome.

JustHappy3 Wed 22-Mar-17 12:04:22

flowers cos that's hard going.

What time is she going to bed and how much napping is she doing in the day and when? Anything that you can tinker with there?

Sorry i've no advice. My birth son was like that. We followed a lot of other people's ideas none of which worked. He just grew out of it. People ask me how adopted dd is sleeping and i beam at them that she's fabulous - only wakes 3-4 times a night but goes off to sleep once fed. They give me strange looks then.

Oh actually one helpful thing. You sleep if she naps in the day. First time round i kept trying to do jobs. Older and wiser i now unrepentantly grab a snooze. It makes a massive difference to how i feel.

JustHappy3 Wed 22-Mar-17 12:07:44

Sorry i meant to add - if she wants you and you can be there then you are doing fantastic job. Check she's not teething though. I know people bang on about herbal crystals but personally i swear by calpol and calgel.

user1471555041 Wed 22-Mar-17 13:26:15

Thank you for your reply. She goes to bed by 7 sometimes earlier. By then she's so exhausted she's ready for bed.

During the day she will nap for roughly an hour in the morning and afternoon. It sometimes feels like the morning one is just an extension of her nighttime sleep as she is tired by about 8am. Maybe she's not getting enough sleep during the day.

She has been ill on and off since she came home which has been hard. It's exhausting for all of us and mentally I feel like I'm really struggling. I can feel myself getting stressed inside and dread nap and bed times. Just need to get a grip and realise how lucky we are especially at 3 o'clock in the morning! smile

Your right about the teething she is struggling with that so thank you for the tips about calpol and calgel.

Mrscollydog Wed 22-Mar-17 21:48:09

Sleep was my absolute nemesis. I thought it would NEVER get better. Our LO was a bit older but a similar picture. We just stuck to our routine, always were there when she was screaming or upset, and I napped a lot when she did in the day. 14 months in bedtimes are a dream and she sleeps all night. I am not sure when it got better but it did. We just saw the night time distress as a manifestation of the enormity of everything she had to process. Hang in there x

Starfishbanana101 Wed 22-Mar-17 22:31:14

Can you let her sleep on your chest a while then gradually move her beside you in bed? I used to do this when we had a bad phase of sleeping. DH used to sleep on the sofa as he was working and I'd make up the sleep for me in nap time the next day. I'm also used to kind of pretending to function on a few hrs sleep a night these days.

I'd also second giving some calpol and teething gel. It maybe teething or a developmental leap which play havoc with babies sleep at the best of time. It's hard though. There have been time's where I've felt broken from lack of sleep then all of a sudden they sleep through the night once and you feel like a new person.

If you can get her to nap more in the day I'd try that also. The more they sleep in the day the better they sleep at night apparently. I found it to be true in our house when LO was a baby. LO was still having a bottle in the night at 1yr old as well I think, about 4am.

It's hard though, concentrate on getting through one night at a time. Get sleep or rest in the day when you can. It will get better and this bit will soon seem distant memory. It's so hard when you're in it though. We're mostly past it now and I actually miss being needed at night sometimes, to the point where LO sneezed then coughed the other night and was a bit hot so obviously needed to come and sleep in bed with us :D DH was not impressed but LO and I were happy snuggled up 😂

user1471555041 Thu 23-Mar-17 18:38:03

Thank you for all your kind words and advice. Last night Lo woke about 4 then went straight back to sleep until gone 7! We've had a full on day today with lots of fresh air so hopefully she will sleep well tonight fingers crossed. Going to take one night at a time. One good sleep and everything seems better. smile

Starfishbanana101 Fri 24-Mar-17 10:05:30

That's great news smile it's amazing how much better you can feel after a decent night.

OrangeHotAirBalloon Sat 25-Mar-17 11:48:52

Hope all is going well. We had the same thing happen, although dd was always a good sleeper, then suddenly around 1st birthday everything changed and was even grouchy in daytime sad. I think it is teething/developmental leap and also 12 month jabs related (if you've had them already). She has started sleeping through the night again as a few new teeth have popped through and we've been giving Calpol and if she is really distressed before bed also infant ibubrofen, as I was totally convinced that she must be in pain with the screaming, as it was so unlike her. it is really difficult when they can't tell you what is wrong.

user1471555041 Sat 25-Mar-17 23:04:50

Thank you Orange. It is the worst thing not knowing what's wrong, we've got a bs who's 16 and looking back I do very vaguely remember the developmental leap and teething around this age. We're still waiting for her 12 month jabs so will have to keep our fingers crossed for those. We managed our first evening out tonight since lo came home, my parents had come over to baby sit and she didn't wake up once smile.

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