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Waiting

(8 Posts)
DINKY2016 Tue 21-Mar-17 19:47:23

A question about the never ending waiting! We were approved in December and saw a child at an event in January. We weren't the SW first choice but having proceeded with another adopter this has fallen through and they have come back to us. We are excited about this but the date for the visit is in mid April. This all feels very slow. Is this normal? And on a happier note, what sort of things should we be asking the SW when they eventually do visit?!

Chocogoingcuckoo Tue 21-Mar-17 21:05:36

Congratulations Dinky, it's sounding good. I can't answer tour questions but definitely relate to your post, the indefinite waiting is driving me insane! We were approved September last year, were appoached about a LO but that fell through start of this year. Noted interest at an adoption event, heard nothing since. Aaarrgghh!

DINKY2016 Tue 21-Mar-17 21:25:24

It's infuriating! I don't mind waiting if I know that something might happen at the end of it but a big part of me knows this could all still come to nothing. Trying not to look on Link Maker but then equally feel that could miss out on a child that may be a link. The event we went to was manic and I can imagine the sorting through of interest took months!

Chocogoingcuckoo Tue 21-Mar-17 21:36:54

We're still not on link maker, must be really tempting for you to look! Yeah, it's the not knowing when the end goal is or what's going on inbetween that is so infuriating.

donquixotedelamancha Tue 21-Mar-17 22:51:20

"Trying not to look on Link Maker" Why?

If you want to speed up this process you need to be fairly proactive. Keep looking until you are matched. While waiting to be the confirmed match for DD1 we had a couple of other preliminary meetings. We'd put in several expressions of interest (including DD1) even before approval.

The waiting is frustrating- it doesn't get better once matched. I think you have a bit of control, but not much: you can follow up SWs. As long as you have a timescale for the next step (as you do) then you know things are moving (if slowly). Be really polite and fluffy while following up, but I'd chase gently at every step.

CrazyCatLaydee123 Wed 22-Mar-17 14:00:03

SWs (and estate agents) really know how to slow these things down - yes, they are monumentally busy, but they're also always on holiday!

We found our 2 DC on link maker in July. We had something back after 2 weeks but then no response for ages. We kept looking but every other child on there just wasn't the same once we'd seen these 2, and our SW had nothing for us from our LA search.

In September they finally got back in touch. As it turns out, the family finder and the kids' SW were both new to the role, so I think the holdup was handover time.

We finally brought them home in Jan. It was worth the wait, but I can't help but wonder what it would have been like if we'd got them sooner.

user1471467667 Wed 22-Mar-17 18:54:58

to be honest if you were only approved in December, and already have a potential link, this is very quick. Its only a few weeks to mid April. It took my son's SWs 5 months to come out to see me as they were waiting for updated reports.
Use the time to think about the childs needs and how you can meet them.

DINKY2016 Thu 23-Mar-17 06:56:20

Thanks to you all. I think the hardest part is knowing so little about the child before the meeting makes it hard to think about meeting their needs. I appreciate Dec-April isn't long in the grande scheme of things but when you know how long the child has been waiting I wish things could be speedier.

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