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Tell me about your success stories with convincing teachers to treat adopted children differently?

(4 Posts)
user0000000001 Mon 20-Feb-17 21:30:34

Just wrote a massive OP and lost it.

Long story short... have a meeting with school. DS struggling lately and want to try to get school to handle more sympathetically (after ascertaining their side... DS can be selective!!)

He is refusing to work sometimes. Am concerned school thinks it's because he's lazy etc. I think it's because he's shutting down due to fear of failure.

School has a two page fact sheet on DS with a bit about background, resultant issues and how to deal with them. I have sent information leaflets/ books in.

I want to try to get it to hit home that DS is different, not naughty.

Any success stories/words of wisdom??

PoppyStellar Tue 21-Feb-17 21:58:55

I'm not sure I've got a success story as I'm still relatively early on in schooling, and I'm not confident I've got any sage words of wisdom either, but I'm happy to share what I've tried with my daughter's school and what seems to be working so far.

I think I'm very lucky in that our school whilst a bit clueless (but keen to do what they could) at the start have put a few things in place to try and support the children who are LAC or post LAC. If school is open to helping and trying new things that makes a huge difference. From personal experience I've found that being pleasant and using a bit of reverse psychology / getting them to think your preferred solution was their idea can get them on board but ultimately if they're not interested in acknowledging the issues that some adopted children face you can feel like you're on a hiding to nothing.

Practically, things like suggesting they spend PP funding on training around attachment and associated behaviours has been helpful. All staff had a half day INSET on this.

For my DD emotional resilience, coping with change etc were the biggest issues and SENCO has done some training around mental health in children which seems to have helped her run focused nurture groups (not limited to adopted pupils but including other vulnerable children as well)

Therapies like 'Lego therapy' which is often used with autistic children I believe, have been run for a number of groups of kids with a variety of issues. DD did this for a bit and it seemed to help with confidence.

When things haven't been going so well at school I've found that really spelling it out (politely) to the class teacher had some effect. I had to spell it out for her why certain behaviours from her were causing problems for DD. I didn't think I'd need to do this as we'd had the convo about DD being adopted and what support she might need at the start of the year, plus said teacher was there for the attachment training but clearly a bit of repition is sometimes required.

Bottom line is don't be afraid to explicitly tell them what you need. And you may have to spell it out several times over the course of your child's time at school. I've found being polite and courteous when spelling it out gets the best response but there will probably be times when you need to get a bit 'tiger mum' about it.

I'm in the process of trying to get some post adoption support for DD who's struggling with stuff and although this is a very slow process SW has said she'll liaise with school on how they can support her as well as external therapy we should hopefully be getting soon.

Don't know if any of that helps but hope you get some joy with school.

tethersend Tue 21-Feb-17 23:45:17

If you're in London or the Tees valley, PAC UK are currently offering free training to schools- here

user0000000001 Sat 25-Feb-17 14:32:31

Thanks both, will let you know how I get on.

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