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Upset for DD2

(9 Posts)
UnderTheNameOfSanders Wed 01-Feb-17 11:09:34

DD1 has slow processing, poor organisation, dyspraxia.
When we finally got a 'diagnosis' for her in y11 it was a relief because she got extra time and we finally understood what was going on.

DD2 has just started secondary. I'd queried at primary re dyslexia as she didn't seem to be making the progress we'd expect, they did an assessment and said not. Asked secondary to do another assessment. They have now said slow processing, weak auditory memory, some organisation issues, handwriting issues. We already knew her motor skills are bottom 1%.
I'm feeling really upset. I wanted them to say she was OK just a bit behind but they could help her catch up. It was exhausting nurturing DD1 all the way through secondary, and DD2 is going to need the same support. She tries so hard and it's all going to be such a struggle for her too.

I know it's good really because we know in y7 rather than later, so steps can be put in place. And the SEN department at school is good. And I'll feel better in a while, but I'm just feeling so sad for her (and me) right now.

Rainatnight Wed 01-Feb-17 11:53:06

No words of advice but didn't want to read and run. flowers for both of you.

luckylucky24 Wed 01-Feb-17 12:20:48

I hope you all get the support you need.

JustHappy3 Wed 01-Feb-17 12:21:36

flowers from me too. I think it's fine, important even, to acknowledge your sadness. You know you can do it but equally you know what it involves.

tldr Wed 01-Feb-17 14:30:43

Clutching at straws here, but might it be easier supporting DC2 than DC1 because she has a diagnosis?

I'm sorry you're felling sad. And I'm sorry it's going to be hard for you/her. flowersbrew

UnderTheNameOfSanders Wed 01-Feb-17 15:24:05

Thank you all. I'm sure we will manage, and absolutely it will be much easier to support her because we do have the info, and so will the teachers.
Also I'm quite able to support her academically (especially having helped DD1 with all her GCSEs).

It's the emotional aspect which is harder; over the past 2 years DD1 has drained a lot of my emotional reserves (and is massively continuing to do so), that I don't feel I have loads around to give DD2 when she gets sad/upset about how hard she finds school. I know it isn't fair (and for right or wrong have told DD1 so) and I've been trying to step back and save for DD2, but then DD1 does something outrageous and it all goes on her again.

DD2 will be OK, she has us, and the school is supportive. I just wish she didn't have this to contend with as well as other stuff too.

Kewcumber Wed 01-Feb-17 19:43:18

Yes I get it and I can just imagne that steeling yourself for a second go around must take quite a stiff backbone.

But you will manage because you DD deserves you. Do you think some counselling might help you find a balance between DD's? I remember Maryz really turning a corner when she got some counselling.

(I know counselling isn't the answer to everything but I can;t can;t shove chocolate through the screen)

UnderTheNameOfSanders Wed 01-Feb-17 20:25:06

Chocolate received smile

DH and I have been having some parenting counselling/guidance since September when things hit crisis with DD1 (who has been having separate counselling elsewhere). What I need now is 2 months without yet another unnecessary DD1 self induced drama but I suspect I won't get it.

DD2 will take some persuading to use a laptop at school, she doesn't know anyone who uses one yet and doesn't want to be (even more) different.

tldr Wed 01-Feb-17 21:12:49

So, as with our standard advice to newbies, are you getting proper relaxing time away from everyone for you? If you can't have two months, can you get two hours? (Bonus points if you can make it two hours per week...)

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