Husband is adopting my children. Biological father been absent for 6 years. Children have had no contact whatsoever. No maintenance has been paid. I had no idea where biological father even was. The court have searched for him in order to complete the process.
Initially, bio father said to ss that he was happy for the adoption to go through. Then, at court, he contested. Everything had gone in our favour up to that point, social services and cafcass had made their recommendations totally in our favour.
The judge allowed him to meet with cafcass again. A second report will be filed before next court date which is soon.
Cafcass have rung to let us know that this new report will also be in our favour because bio father will not be contesting any further. He will give his blessings and disappear on one condition...that the children keep his surname.
Now, we're not really happy about this, we, and more importantly the children want us all to be a family in every sense of the word. Husband and I are married and share a name and we also have children together with the same surname as us. I know that they can be 'known as' for the rest of their lives but they will always have to use bio fathers surname formally and they don't want that.
I was wondering about our options if anyone can shed any light. Do we tell the judge this isn't acceptable and see how we go with that? (potentially it could string this out even more?)
Or is the most sensible choice to agree to his request (in order to get the order through with no more hassle, it's been a really tough and long couple of years) then change their names by deed poll because husband and I will be the ones with complete parental responsibility?
Will that still be possible if it's in a court order that dc keep bio fathers name?
(before anyone says about asking our solicitor, we don't have one, our case has been so good that a solicitor advised us not to waste our money by employing him!)
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Can anyone help please?
31 replies
Anothernamesake · 27/01/2017 18:01
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