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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Sally Donovan - if you haven't read her please do.

(9 Posts)
catsnickedallmypens Thu 01-Dec-16 19:27:07

My DC was placed with me over 10 years ago. We struggled for years with challenging behaviours and trying different parenting techniques. No professionals around us were able to give any real practical advice so we just slogged it out as a family finding ways of managing.

Even after our DC was diagnosed with 'disordered attachment' (about 4 years ago) and we finally understood what was going on I could not find any really helpful practical advice from the professionals around us. We have worked it out ourselves over time and things are much improved.

About a year ago someone recommended Sally Donovan's books to me. I read the 'Unofficial Guide To Adoption' and it blew me away. For the first time in 9 years I was able to read about another adopter who had experienced almost exactly the same as me in parenting a traumatised child. Sally is an adopter herself and has been brave enough to share exactly how it feels.

I heard her speak at an event earlier this week and again, I was struck by how reassured it felt to listen to someone who knows what it's really like. She gives a lot of practical advice and humorous anecdotes, she gets it!

So, for any of you who are considering adopting, in the early stages of an adoptive placement, or long in the tooth adopters who are experienced but feeling isolated and misunderstood, go and have a read of Sally's stuff. I wish I'd read her stuff a long time ago, I wouldn't have doubted myself so much.

tldr Thu 01-Dec-16 22:49:12

I have, but I feel like I'm needing a top up! Will try the new one. Thanks! smile

catsnickedallmypens Thu 01-Dec-16 23:36:32

tldr I keep it by the side of my bed (amongst dozens of novels) and when we've had a tough day I just pick it up, open at any random page and after a page I feel calmer. Just to read a voice that resonates. It is quite soothing to my frenzied adopter mother brain!

That's why, after hearing her speak the other day I put this post up's not just me, it's not just me ... I'm doing ok.

slkk Sat 03-Dec-16 08:13:40

I have also found Sarah naish's 'therapeutic parenting in a nutshell' useful and (less useful but more funny) her 'but he looks so normal'. Her children's books are also great for the children to help them understand their own behaviour, and the therapeutic parenting support group on facebook has just about kept me sane and helped me look at my son's extreme behaviour in a completely different way.

Italiangreyhound Sat 03-Dec-16 11:57:15

Thanks, very helpful.

Whatslovegottodo Sat 03-Dec-16 20:54:54

We are in the process so all early days for us but the books have been a great introduction. So real and readable. Can't recommend enough whatever stage you are at.

DorcasthePuffin Sat 03-Dec-16 23:04:58

She is very good.

OlennasWimple Sun 04-Dec-16 00:32:12

Thank you - a useful reminder that I need to buy the book, not just keep getting it out from the library

RaisingSteam Mon 19-Dec-16 00:56:59

It brought me back from the edge recently after an awful week. I bought it on my Kindle and read it on one sitting. I kept reading bits out too DH - look! us too! the one about the holidays, etc. How does she know my life?

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