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Sibling group adoption

(5 Posts)
Sammy123456789 Wed 09-Nov-16 20:19:33

Hello everyone,
I'm new to this web page and have found reading the questions and answers on here very helpful and supportive. My husband and I are in the last part of stage 2 and we're just about to review our PAR. The second stage has been smooth and all the sessions were really positive and we had no further issues. So we were really surprised to receive as email from our SE this morning saying that after the manager had read the PAR she wants more exploration of our family set up, a second option my another SW and evidence that we can take on a sibling group? If anyone has any advice that would be really great as I'm in a bit of state. Yesterday we were going to panel 14 December and today I don't know what's going on 😞
Thanks for reading my post xx

UnderTheNameOfSanders Wed 09-Nov-16 21:11:35

A second opinion visit is standard (or was when we adopted quite a few years ago now).

The manager wants some things to be checked before going to panel. She presumably thinks that some areas of your PAR are weak. This might be because it is poorly written, or because your SW hasn't explored things properly, or because they are actually weak.

Either way the manager rightly wants things to be as solid as they can be before submitting things to panel, as if panel spot a weakness then you will be deferred. So better to make a strong case upfront.

So family set up - I'm guessing maybe it is unusual fro some reason? In which case it needs to be clear to panel (and placing SWs) that adoption will work for the setup. No point getting through panel if no one will place with you.

Evidence for sibling group. Again you need to show you have considered implications, that your support network is strong enough etc. The manager may have some concerns that the PAR is not showing you to be robust enough.

Try not to panic. Panel may be delayed by a month, but that is unlikely to affect matching, since if you are that close to panel they may well be considering you against children anyway. (We were approached about a match a month before we went to panel).

It's very stressful but will probably all be OK.

Hels20 Wed 09-Nov-16 21:20:15

Hi Sammy - I agree with everything Sanders says above.

The PAR for second time approval we thought was finalised. Then our SW's manager reviewed it and thought there was too much focus on x, took little focus on y and we had to have another meeting so that about 15 more questions could be put to us! It took about an hour and was fine. So this could be happening for a number of reasons. Have you seen your PAR yet? Maybe ask to see it in advance of all of this.

Even if it does delay panel by a month or two it is so unlikely to delay matching. We have adopted twice and both times there was a long wait (like 4 to 5 months) between the child first being mentioned to us and the child moving in. They mooted a child to us even before we had been approved.

Try not to worry and get despondent - easier said than done!

Sammy123456789 Wed 09-Nov-16 21:28:38

Thank you ladies for both of your replies. My husbands parents (dad and step mum) are estranged and have been for about 8 years. They fell out over his nans death and not making it to funeral. We were living abroad so was very tricky. We have been through it all in depth and said we will introduce back into our lives should it be right for us and our future children and left it at that. Our SW thought it was all good.

I guess that it is best to get all this sorted before panel but it's worrying as it's gone pretty smooth to date.

Meeting a second social worker who doesn't know us is daunting really. It's not common practice now but they do it to certain couples. I was going to talk to SW about potential matches as we were getting to panel but I'm scared to ask now in case they think we are jumping the gun. We are, and have been ready for this for nearly 2 years so this delay feels like torture hmm

Never know what to say to then as you feel scrutinised and judged for everything you say and do Xx

flapjackfairy Wed 09-Nov-16 21:42:08

I sympathise. We were due to go to panel last january and it was delayed every month until june! I was so fed up but sometimes there are things that need tweaking or as others have said sw sometimes dont have paperwork up to scratch so try not to worry too much.
Deep breath and press on. You will get there x

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