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It's national adoption week

(29 Posts)
tldr Tue 18-Oct-16 18:32:34

So how many of your facebook feeds are full of people sharing stories from the red tops of cute children seeking families with some kind of claim that they'd love to but spare room/too busy/big dog? grin

I'm at three school mums and counting (who of course, don't know that I really did already...)

luckylucky24 Tue 18-Oct-16 19:18:38

No one on my feed. I often felt this way when people were saying they would be happy to home refugees.
Why not the children in our own country that need a home? probably because it is so bloody difficult

mindmush Tue 18-Oct-16 21:02:18

I genuinely would be happy to host a refugee family, but it would be too disruptive for younger DS just now! wink

As I am grumpymcgrumpypants (may name change, if available!), I got very narked at all the "Aren't they hansum, I'll take em!" comments. Would you? If you will genuinely take a sibling group of three, with all the problems they come with, then crack on! Or "I'd love to have them if I had a spare room"- ok, why not talk to the LA about whether they would fund an extension or something for these hard to place children, if you genuinely could meet their needs. Oh, you have no idea what their needs actually are? Ah, yes, you are making your decision on how cute they are. How wise.

You know what, all you people who "Would have them like a shot, if it wasn't for..." came round with chocolate and wine on an evening to support someone who is actually doing it, then maybe I'd think you weren't talking a load of shit. If you want to #supportadoption, then stop with your stupid questions, your surprise that adopted kids can be cute and clever, and stop judging my parenting. (I'm looking at you, till woman who judged me buying stage 1 babyfood for my slightly regressed toddler.)

grumpymcgrumpypants Tue 18-Oct-16 21:10:54


MypocketsarelikeNarnia Tue 18-Oct-16 21:22:08

Spare room/big dog is exactly why my close relative won't adopt. Although if she'd looked into it but at all she'd have discovered that 'being a smoker' is why she wouldn't get assessed. grin

tldr Tue 18-Oct-16 21:37:38

Nice name change grumpy

Narnia grin

Mrscollydog Wed 19-Oct-16 06:57:13

Several school mums on my feed harping on about it. Having to sit on my hands to stop me commenting.

RatherBeIndoors Wed 19-Oct-16 10:04:42

God yes, I'd get behind a campaign where everyone who proclaims they would "adopt in a heartbeat if only it weren't for XYZ" brings round a casserole/chocolate/emergency groceries, to a new or just-bloody-struggling-that-day adopter!

gabsdot Wed 19-Oct-16 10:27:32

I had a friend who said I'd love to adopt if I could be sure I'd get a girl.
I told her that if that was important to her she could request to only be matched with girls.
That shut her up!!!!

JustHappy3 Wed 19-Oct-16 21:21:57

I just saw an advert from our local council and my jaw dropped. Photo of lots of football boots and the strapline of Have your own football team. Just seems so wrong on many levels!

Allington Thu 20-Oct-16 08:57:41

What is the point of National Adoption Week?

Bearing in mind that there are more than enough adopters for the young and cute ones, wouldn't it make more sense to educate people about the challenges (but also the rewards) of adopting the older/less cute? And how those children may well need to be parented in ways that are not 'odd' for the needs of that particular child - but spectators have no right to know about those needs?

How much extra pressure is put on parents whose children are struggling by the judgemental comments. How helpful it would be to offer support instead of complaining about 'that child' who is in your little angel's class and is 'trouble'.

Just a thought...

RatherBeIndoors Thu 20-Oct-16 10:09:04

Allington I like you already grin

DorcasthePuffin Thu 20-Oct-16 11:33:47

So pleased to see this thread - I thought of starting one!

I feel really ambivalent about National Adoption Week, which is basically a recruitment campaign at a time when there are masses of approved adopters not getting matched, and masses more adoptive parents not getting enough support.

I get fed up at the 'all you need is love', 'happy ever after' type messaging.

I get fed up at all the animal charities appearing on my twitter feed, saying, "Yay, it's National Adoption Week - adopt this adorable cocker spaniel!" Feck right off.

But I really like the idea of getting a casserole/box of chocolates/book token in recognition of my adoptive marvelousness smile

DorcasthePuffin Thu 20-Oct-16 11:36:14

And yeah, the 'I would love to adopt but" people are possibly even more annoying than the "All children do that" types or those who see our kids as some kind of contaminated product who should be kept well away from their 'innocent' little darlings.

Boy, I'm in a grump today grin

RatherBeIndoors Thu 20-Oct-16 11:42:42

There's surely enough in the publicity fund for national adoption week to send us all some chocolate?!

DorcasthePuffin Thu 20-Oct-16 11:52:32

Hell, I'm not fussy - at this stage I'd be grateful for custard creams.

tldr Thu 20-Oct-16 13:21:51

Custard Creams for Adopters Week!

I like. smile

PoppyStellar Thu 20-Oct-16 13:40:01

I prefer a Jaffa cake but as I'm currently on a very long wait for adoption support i'd take anything that was offered! grin

drsholmes Thu 20-Oct-16 22:30:39

Can you really ask to be matched with just girls??

tldr Thu 20-Oct-16 22:32:17


DorcasthePuffin Thu 20-Oct-16 22:56:05

I was only approved to adopt girls, though that was the SW's choice, not mine.

Allington Fri 21-Oct-16 08:05:03

You can set whatever limits you like as to age, gender, medical/other conditions etc.

If the range is too narrow or your reasons are frivolous/shallow you won't get very far. But the assessment process is supposed to identify your strengths which are going to be fairly child specific. What is a strength for one child could be a drawback for another.

MypocketsarelikeNarnia Fri 21-Oct-16 20:50:05

Custard Creams for Adopters Week

Tldr wtf is actually wrong with you? I've put my heart and soul into this child <indicates snoring lump in bed next to her>


Fucking custard creams, I fucking ask you.

PoppyStellar Fri 21-Oct-16 20:59:05

Narnia you are spot on! Sod the custard creams, I take back my vote for Jaffa cakes and second the dark chocolate gingers. The ones made by Borders please...

tldr Fri 21-Oct-16 22:18:04

Tbh, I hate custard creams and dark chocolate ginger in equal measure.

Tunnock's Caramel Wafers for Adopters Week?

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