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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.


(8 Posts)
blueskywithclouds Wed 17-Aug-16 22:01:45

We are adoptive parents (newly!) and letterbox was sorted a couple of months ago (signed by all of us and sent off). We haven't heard anything from them and I'm sure we should have done? Surely to give us a copy of the agreement and a way to write to them? I'm guessing we are assigned an ID number?
Our first letter is meant to be written this month. I've mentioned letterbox about 3 times and keep being told that the services are cut and the team is snowed under.
I don't want to be that parent that Is late writing. The letter is written.
Should I just send it to the general address with a note explaining? The email I sent has been sent back as workers don't seem fussed on chasing this up and it is bothering me! I appreciate the services are at breaking point but that doesn't help birth parents who are needing a letter...

marmalade999 Wed 17-Aug-16 22:04:49

Deary me.....we wrote ours 5 months ago and still waiting for a response and to see if it's been collected.
We are lectured so much to "do the right thing' it's a shame when it goes to pot like this.
Do you still have a sw assigned to you or lo?

PoppyStellar Wed 17-Aug-16 22:12:21

Are you with an LA? If so they should have a specific letterbox address (they should be able to give you this if you phone the general adoption services phone number)

matimeo Wed 17-Aug-16 22:49:02

Our LA has a general email address for letterbox contact. We didn't get any kind of specific number of instructions- just an email (well actually the leaflet had a misprint on the email, I had to phone up).

The first go took 7 weeks for an acknowledgement. This time round it's become clear that some of the contact arrangements aren't sorted despite repeated assurances, so I sent a query- no reply. The LA social worker tells us the box isn't checked while the only admin assistant who deals with it is off on hols. I've sent the letter in because we also don't want to be late, but it's flabbergasting how badly this is dealt with.

I think we adopters need to make more of a fuss. Obviously no one wants to complain while adopting, but after this time round I'm going to be sending a detailed description of the issues to the LA and to Ofsted.

PoppyStellar Thu 18-Aug-16 00:15:02

Sorry, meant to add if you are with an LA then I would suggest ringing them on their general adoption number (should be on LA website) and asking them where to send it to, what identifying info to put on the envelope you have to put it in etc, and metaphorically kicking their asses til they give you this info. I would not recommend sending it to a general address with a covering note as it's potentially very sensitive info that could very easily get lost.
IME LAs can be rubbish at letterbox - as in they don't see it as being as high a priority as it should be - but letters on both sides do get through eventually.

blueskywithclouds Thu 18-Aug-16 03:20:40

Thanks all! Yes we are with a LA and we do still have a sw...she just keeps saying they are busy. I will email the general adoption queries. I think it's so sad, I don't want the birth parent to think we haven't bothered or let them down 😡

disneygirl10 Sat 20-Aug-16 18:35:41

Whenever I have sent mine I phone to check the social worker we dealt with is still there and make sure I speak to her personal. I ask that she can check it and forward it on to the lady who deals with letter box. I think that makes it her responsibility then !

campervancharlie Mon 22-Aug-16 03:28:18

Be aware of the context of your letterbox agreement. If your agreement is to write about your child (ie not with their knowledge or just because they are too young) then another issue will be that you will want them to know in the future that you tried to uphold your part of the agreement. Got it in writing somewhere and maybe keep a contact folder on your computer which includes a diary document noting all conversations you have had with SS etc regarding contact.
If you have safety concerns (ie it would not be wise for the birth parents to know where you live) then i would refrain from sending contact letters into the ether if they are dmitting that they are understaffed.
Phone the people directly responsible. Speak to someone. Get their name. Address the letter to them. Check for safety issues.
IMHO smile

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