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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

I should have said something :{

(5 Posts)
lorby Mon 15-Aug-16 15:23:03

Our eldest boy is adopted, we also have three younger birth children. During a consultant assessment today (He has ADD) the consultant who is new to his file asked "if the other three were my own".... I didn't want to make a scene in front of my DS but just thought the doctor lacked sensitivity. And also given that it was the Children Mental Health Department that he should have had the insight of how this might affect my DS.... Anyway I just replied back that DS has three siblings and didn't make any issue of who was adopted and who was birth... Grrrrrr

ChocolateJam Mon 15-Aug-16 16:26:45

That is shocking lorby. And it catches one so unawares especially coming from someone who should know better. I think you handled it ok, it's easy to comment in hindsight but I tend to just say that my daughter is my own. Could you email the consultant and / or his supervisor and gently complain?

RosieandJim89 Mon 15-Aug-16 18:46:33

I think you handled it just fine.
There wasn't anything else to be said without making a scene or being rude.

JustHappy3 Tue 16-Aug-16 19:13:49

I think that's a well meaning but unfortunate gaffe. In your place i also wouldn't have caused a scene and silently fumed.
But then I'd write in to the consultant- full of praise for him (make something up if needed) but asking if he would mind if you pointed out some sensitivities in terminology around adoption.
I'd need to feel i'd said something and you never know, a calmly worded letter may make a better point than the sharp dressing down he deserved.

campervancharlie Mon 22-Aug-16 03:47:52

hi lorby,
you did exactly right - you didn't make a fuss in front of your ds.
But i would complain now by letter. It is not an acceptable mistake from a professional - particularly one in that department.
It doesn't need to be an angry letter but consultants are paid a heck of a lot of money and should do their jobs thoughtfully.
But this is me. I fully accept that this may not be you smile

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