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Rescources for teaching adoption to DC(11 Posts)
We are in stage one of the adoption process and we already have two young birth DC.
I was wondering if anyone had any reccomendations for books/films/tv programs or anything really which we could use to help us talk to our kids about adoption. They are almost 5 and 3.
My BS was a bit older but we watched despicable me and Paddington movie on loop before AD came home. We also talked in terms of adopting our dog, very crude but helped him get his head round it. I.e when she came it was hardwork and in lies of ways v annoying but now we all love her and she is part of the family.
Good luck! Its been a hard but wonderful experience and my heart literally melts when I see AD and BS together.
We got a book called "becoming a big brother" it was okay but had a bit about going on a plane and coming back with a child.
The best things were just little chats at night time and about it. Adopting the dog was also a good one for us. And we found a teddy in Butlins once and "adopted it".
Emma's Yucky Brother is good. It makes it clear it may be tough at the start of introductions.
There's a BAAF book, which the 5 year old may like.
Dennis Duckling it's liked by SWs. Not a hit here.
We didn't like Despicable Me, as he returns the children! Didn't want BC thinking AC could be returned under any circumstance, no matter how annoying!
Paddington stories better than the film, I found. It's clear Aunt Lucy can't look after him, but contact is maintained. Paddington also clearly takes the family name, and is very much part of the family. I think the film, we spent too much time hiding from Nicole Kidman to think about the relationships! Plus Mr Brown is more reluctant, and there's more rejection of Paddington in the film, whereas the books there's just acceptance.
Peabody and Sherman (my dd love this )
The life of Timothy green
Meet the robinsons
Stuart little dig daddy
Earth to echo
The blind side (this is really good for transracial adoption)
Lilio and stitch
Also superman is adopted so any superman film
For the ages of the children
I recommend Peabody and Sherman
The dads a dog who adopts a boy so not to close to home
The dad mr Peabody has a hard time telling Sherman how much he means to him it's actually very moving
Hi Catlass, my BC were both a little younger than yours when we first adopted.
The problem we had with many of the recommendations as offered by posters above, was that our young children took adoption storylines very literally at this age. So for example, we were recommended the film Stuart Little. BC2 found it hard to sit through a film altogether, let alone understand any content. BC 1 loved the film and understood that Stuart was now one of the Little family, but then when I equated this to our own plans to adopt he said, 'oh I see, so we're adopting a mouse!'
He watched Paddington again recently, and still found it hard to see any similarity in Paddington moving in with the Smiths and the arrival of his adopted siblings. I mean his siblings didn't arrive by train from Peru!
The most useful books for us were Snowflake by Carrie ( from ceebebies) - sorry I can't remember her surname right now. This is a fantastic book. The feelings of the little girl moving to a new place are really explored. We used this to talk about how new sibling would feel at first.
The second recommendation is a recent book by Lauren Child, I'll look title it up later as being called away now!
Back again...so sorry, I meant 'the Brown Family' re. Paddington, and the book recommendations are 'Snowflakes' by Cerrie Burnell, and The New Small Person by Lauren Child.
Didn't use any books - just talked to my birth dc, aged 5 at that point. We took it very slowly - pointing out adoption in story lines, looking at pictures of me pregnant (some children don't live with their tummy mummies etc). Tiny little steps. And always always answering questions when asked - always always at inconvenient moments! I think it took 6 months. Waiting after approval was the hardest part tbh - when? When? When? Realising we might have raised expectationz that couldn't be matched.
Watch out for "mummies can't look after their babies" and do a proper "because" for them - ds freaked out when i got flu and went to bed and daddy told him i couldn't look after him that day.
The good thing is having found a language your kids understand and works for your family you'll be in a strong position for explaining to your adopted dc.
DS watched Jungle Book - and took in how the man cub was looked after by the animals. So he coined his own word "cub" to describe the potential brother or sister aged between 6 months to 3 years. Our family were horrified (he thinks he's getting a teddy!) but we ended up using it with social worker's full blessing. When adopted Dd arrived he never said it again.
We talked a lot about people's feelings anyway - it helped him empathise with dd, foster carers and birth parents.
We also worried about his progress academically - but he's had an outstanding year. Just reassure and sometimes ask the questions for them "Maybe you are worried that..."
We did lots of talking about how love grows as the family grows etc.
Most of our preparation stage was thinking about DS as much as our "cub".
Thank you all so much you're all stars!!
Going to look at everything people suggested. Hadn't thought of Paddington and not heard of Peabody and Sherman so will have a look at them. Welovelego and behappy I think you're right about being careful how we phrase things, my kids take everything very literally indeed. I will check out the book reccomendations on Amazon
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