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Foster to Adopt

(22 Posts)
sweetchilli77 Thu 30-Jun-16 17:24:45

We have been approached this week to Foster to Adopt.

I know about all the risks and uncertainties that goes with it. We are definitely not without thinking LO may not stay.

LO is still in hospital and BM has little contact at this stage, She already has 4 other children in care, 2 adopted that i know of.

We are told the court order will be early to mid next week? So i asked my SW was there anything i needed to buy. She has told to hang fire and buy nothing as SS will support us.I was just thinking nappies, cot. The essentials.

Is this normal? do SS normally provide things or do you think SW is being cautious? Or am i being paranoid know how quickly foster to adopt can change?

OP’s posts: |
Alljamissweet Thu 30-Jun-16 17:33:21

No experience but have a friend who had a couple of hours notice on the arrival of their baby.
If it were me, I'd buy and leave wrapped....just essentials.
There is very little you can't get next day online but a Moses basket might be tricky 😊

RatherBeIndoors Thu 30-Jun-16 21:00:32

SS usually either provide/reimburse foster families for things like car seats in our LA, so it's possible it will be a similar process where you are. In your position I would probably research items and make a list, ready to order/buy if the court order is granted. They can be hard to predict in such complex situations, so your SW is probably trying to be cautious because it's out of her hands too (although her stress won't be as bad as yours!) I hope everything works out smile

Twopots Fri 01-Jul-16 12:05:02

In our LA foster to adopt are expected to provide everything they need themselves. If baby is in hospital you can ask the ward to send some bottles of milk home with baby, will be enough for a few hours, you could do with then getting the same brand that baby has been taking for home. The only things you are going to need ASAP is Moses, steriliser, bottles and nappies. I would get steriliser and bottles now as if you are doing foster to adopt even if this baby doesn't come you will need one (or ask friends if they have a spare steriliser/Moses that you could use until you get your own?) good luck 🍀

sglodion Fri 01-Jul-16 12:40:26

Moses basket/steriliser and bottles are all available off the shelves in larger Asda stores if you only have a little notice

sweetchilli77 Fri 01-Jul-16 13:29:00

Thanks everyone smile Ive not bought anything as of yet as id like to wait till next week. I live within easy reach of a Tesco or ASDA to pick up these things plus have good friends and family. I will keep you all updated next week. smile

OP’s posts: |
LarrytheCucumber Fri 01-Jul-16 22:02:29

I hope it goes well for you
Our LA made a complete mess of foster to adopt for a couple we know.
Initially they were told they could collect the baby from hospital. In the end, due to a lot of mistakes by a lot of social workers the baby was with foster carers for 15 weeks before moving to foster to adopt placement. It put the foster to adopters through a lot of stress. I hope your LA is better OP.

Kr1stina Sat 02-Jul-16 06:55:49

In an emergency , You don't even need a steriliser, just some tablet and a Tupperware box and lid . For years babies slept in drawers( on the floor obviously !) on a folded blanket - newborns don't move .

Nappies are one of the few essentials and perhaps a couple of baby grows.

The problem with buying loads of stuff " just in case " is not the money . It's that you can become very emotionally invested in it happening . The unused items can become symbols of your loss .

LarrytheCucumber Sat 02-Jul-16 08:00:37

Kr1stina that's exactly it. The empty Moses basket that should contain the baby would be a constant reminder.

zigzagbetty Thu 12-Jan-17 14:31:05

We have just been approached about a foster to adopt match, just wondered how yours went and if you have advice about buying things?

sweetchilli77 Thu 12-Jan-17 14:50:57

How bizarre i just clicked on this as i have done it, and i didn't even realise or remember putting this on.......

zigzagagbetty Congratulations. Our went very well and its being finalised at court this month.

As regards to items we bought.....We was told to hang fire however how can you do this if you have a potential baby coming home? The day before meeting the baby we went out to buy a Car seat,moses basket, sheets and blankets etc. We knew it was a newborn baby so would also need bottles and steriliser. Has it happened baby was premature so still had a few days left in hospital. We took this time to buy things we knew we would need, especially very small baby clothes/nappies.

We figured if we had all the essentials, anything else could be picked up from a 24 hr super market etc.

Because it was foster to adopt the foster team took over and i remember it took ages to be reimbursed for the items, tbh though i wasn't fussed.You will get a foster allowance until the adoption order takes over (normally when you have been formally matched by adoption team)

Feel free to PM me anything you want.

OP’s posts: |
zigzagbetty Sat 21-Jan-17 22:05:02

We get to meet our 12 week old next week and are beyond thrilled! Have had so much baby stuff given by friends and family we have yet to buy even a nappy!! I hope ours turns out as well as yours smile

sweetchilli77 Sun 22-Jan-17 18:52:18

zigzagbetty you will be so surprised how much people will buy.

We are lucky in some respects as our situation was straight forward and this was not the first FTA to happened within babies siblings. Its the final hearing next week so baby should finally take our name Sweetchilli smile

Like i said, feel free to PM me with any queries or advice.

Let us know how you get on smile

OP’s posts: |
zigzagbetty Sun 22-Jan-17 19:33:19

Will do thanks sweetchilli77 , your not wrong! we've had so many people bringing things round for us!

zigzagbetty Mon 23-Jan-17 07:57:09

Forgot to ay good luck with your hearing next week 🙈☘

zigzagbetty Fri 29-Sep-17 07:07:43

Hi i know this is an old thread but thought id update our foster to adopt journey! We had our little girl placed at 3 months in February and have just had an early november final hearing date through smile we had a few ups and downs along the way but the end is in sight!
Our lo is amazing and we're so lucky grin

Flower20166 Fri 29-Sep-17 20:28:50

Congrats zigzag! I'm currently getting asseessed to do fta x

zigzagbetty Fri 29-Sep-17 23:14:08

Thats great! We were so nervous of fta but are now real advocates of it! Even considering a second smile

feckoffpeppapig Sat 30-Sep-17 11:41:37

Brill news zigzagbetty Glad everything panned out in the end. Its been 15 months since our LO arrived. Its lovely not to have much involvement (if any ) with SW etc. We can just get on being a family.

Nice to see positive FtA stories, i had so many negative stories told me.....

Flower20166 Sat 30-Sep-17 12:32:43

Glad yours was a happy ending too peppa. Mine is an unusual situation but hoping it will come off

feckoffpeppapig Sat 30-Sep-17 12:48:11

Sorry I’ve named changed I’m actually sweetchilli. Hope people don’t think I’ve barged in on the thread 😂.

Flower20166 Sat 30-Sep-17 13:28:42

Ah lol. So pleased it all worked out for you!!

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