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Adopting as a single disabled adopter

(6 Posts)
Chrystalstar Mon 13-Jun-16 11:43:47

Hi there, I am planning to adopt in the future probably when I'm in my thirties I'm in my twenties now, at the moment just studying to be a TA and looking for work, I know it seems strange to be thinking so far in advance but adoption has been on my heart for years, I have spina bifida and therefore I am a wheelchair user but with a lot of upper body strength, I have no intention of meeting someone and prefer being single. Are there any single adopters out there? I realise I may not be seen as a desirable adopter due to these circumstances but just want to know if I'd be considered.

Chrystalstar Mon 13-Jun-16 11:44:45

I mean are there any single disabled adopters out there*

PoppyStellar Mon 13-Jun-16 17:33:22

Hi, I am a single adopter with a chronic health condition. I don't use a wheelchair and my condition is fairly well controlled with meds but obviously it came up as part of the application process. All I can say is that adopting my DD was best thing that has ever happened to me (and her hopefully!) I think it is probably harder with a health condition than without but then I've had this condition nearly all my adult life and it isn't ever going to get better so it is /was something I just had to get on with. SS weren't overly concerned by it but we did do a lot of talking around the practicalities of looking after a young baby and I was advised (and went with) applying to adopt a slightly older child (18 months to 5). In the end my DD was 2 and a half when she came home. This was a great age in my opinion and she still needed lots of cuddles, pick ups etc so I still got to experience at least some of the 'baby' experiences. Good luck with the process if you decide to go ahead.

Hopefullmummy2be Wed 07-Dec-16 06:06:12

Hi, I have been disabled for quite a long time and although I'm currently with someone (for 10 years) he's changing his mind about wanting to be a dad. So it's looking more and more like I'll end up alone doing it. Which is hard... but I'm ao excited to be a mum it will be ok. Did they make you do tests or have physical exams at all? And how long did your process take? Thank you so much x

giraffessay Wed 07-Dec-16 10:03:47

I have some controlled health problems. You will have a medical as part of the process.

SWs will want to know you can care for a child, a traumatised child, who may be challenging. They will expect you to have thought about this in detail. An older child may be more difficult, as could you cope with a "bolter", and keep them safe?

It's all about being aware of your strengths and limitations.

Hopefullmummy2be Sat 17-Dec-16 05:17:02

Thankyou for replying x
I am concerned about an older child to be truthful and would almost definitely find it easier to bond with a toddler or younger. When I didn't have my disability I'd been a nanny for a few years and worked with a couple of sick kids and one or two with challenges. I found this easy to be honest. I've counselled women who have been abused and HOPE I could deal with a wee one who had not a good start. I also have some personal experience with abuse and huge loss. So can empathise easily. I am worried they won't bond with me as I'm a little different too. I'm also worried about how they'd be with my animals... I run a small cat rescue. But then the right child for me would be ok. I wouldn't go forward unless I felt we were the right choice for each other. If it's an older child particularly I want them to choose me back. It's the biggest decision I'll ever make if I go it alone and I find it to be consuming at times. Having conversations with social workers in my head and bringing up all my differences to explain why they make me a better person. But it's daunting to think my future to be a mum could be decided by the right soul being near enough to match with me and a panel of people. Frightening!

I hope you don't mind me asking but did you manage to adopt and how did it go for you if you did?
Thankyou again
Blessings and light x

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