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First FC meet up

(6 Posts)
Mrscollydog Sat 11-Jun-16 07:11:34

Hi all,
We are now 4 months into placement with our AD who is now 22 months old. After a rocky start things are going well at the moment. She is a happy little diva and we are all enjoying having her home.
we are now at the point where this is pressure from all sides to meet the FC again, she was with the same FC from birth to 18 months. They were v close and she grieved really hard for her in the early days. I am absolutely petrified the meet up will undo all of our hard work and set her back by months. I also know it us something we need to do, we got on brilliantly with the FC and her family and have kept in regular contact since. AD has pictures of them in her room and looks at them daily with no distress.
I just wondered if anyone had any advice or pearls of wisdom about how to handle this? Where have people met FCs and how did your children react?

fasparent Sat 11-Jun-16 16:15:08

We met up at adoptive family party gathering, she was
brilliant, said this is my mummy, then on too daddy,
Nanna's and granpa's.
Demonstated how she could jump ,spin around, dance ect .
Think meeting up in a group situation , was the best for her she was very proud of herself.

RatherBeIndoors Sat 11-Jun-16 21:20:34

I remember also being scared it would set us back, but it really didn't. There was some short-term disruption (days, not more) but overall I would say it really helped with settling, even though the meeting itself was quite tough going. I think what helped was: having a defined end point to the meeting, so it was contained; having an activity for DC to do so interaction wasn't too forced; and having someone to offload to afterwards, as it was emotionally demanding (not least because of the anxiety beforehand). It sounds like you have a very positive connection to the FCs, so hopefully yours will go very smoothly. Good luck smile

Maiyakat Sat 11-Jun-16 21:35:42

I was also very nervous about the first meeting. We met up at a play centre so it was neutral ground and not forced interaction. FCs were so grateful that I had taken her and they could see she was getting on well. DD wasn't particularly disrupted by the meeting, but she was younger. Best of luck and congratulations smile

Italiangreyhound Sat 11-Jun-16 22:40:42

We met up after a month. I was not too worried and as it turned out I had no need to be. He was ours and we were his, he was not worried to see foster carer. But it was good for him to know she was around. He was three.

My advice is:
Choose a neutral location, not at anyone's home
Keep it relatively short
Have an activity, e.g. lunch or soft play
Tell your child you will be meeting the foster carer and dont them think it was by chance or accident.

We've met foster carer about 6 or 7 times over last two years and it has gone well - foster care is brilliant. She is a virtual saint!

Ask me if you want to know any more.

Italiangreyhound Sat 11-Jun-16 22:44:33

PS we only met foster carer so much because it worked for us and most of all for our son.

I am sure you will be fine, she is your dd, just remember that and try not to worry.

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