Talk

Advanced search

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

AO Hearing in a few days

(12 Posts)
Namechangeagain9 Sun 22-May-16 23:44:24

AO hearing is a few short days away and I feel sick, what if it all goes wrong.

Lawyers said it wouldn't happen for months as BD is awol and the courts would have to track him via his benefits or determine if he was back in prison as although he knew DS would be adopted doesn't know that he is now with his forever family so therefore no input on the adoption. Judge read the SS report recently and said no to further delays and to get the final hearing booked in. Won't be doing any more to trace BD. Hoping this doesn't come back to bite sad

BM's behaviour and previous actions (refusing to engage for weeks with SW then being all over it/them) is making me so bloody nervous right now. Sometimes she went to court, other times she didn't. She could have attended the session where the details were presented a few weeks ago but didn't, but then suddenly wanted to meet me then failed to turn up. I fully believe she doesn't want him back, not only that but was in fact relieved when he was removed as he was 'stolen' (her words) rather than her 'giving him up' it's also pretty clear that there is a LOT of pressure downright bullying on her from her own family to get him back or have him placed with his BGP's (never going to happen, so unsuitable didn't even make it to a full assessment by SS).

My head knows that the AO will be granted at some point, I just have this irrational fear that they will all arrive in court for this last chance and it will delay everything by months and months and I'm not sure my mental health can cope with that, the thought of losing him no matter how small is horrendous.

So if anyone has a crystal ball I can borrow.....confused

Italiangreyhound Sun 22-May-16 23:57:02

I am sure it will all be fine. Just go easy and wait it out.

Plus be careful you post contains lots of specifics. It's fine I am sure but anyone can read here, just be careful not to post too much stuff that is personal.

Good luck thanks

Namechangeagain9 Mon 23-May-16 00:02:28

I've named changed for this reason, will be back to my old self tomorrow grin.

I don't think I will sleep at all this week.

Italiangreyhound Mon 23-May-16 00:03:30

Aha I did not spot that! Good thoughht.

Try to sleep and do not worry, disruptions at this stage are very rare, so I believe.

Namechangeagain9 Mon 23-May-16 00:08:23

My head knows this, just not the part of my brain that controls my thoughts!!!

I've made it this far without cracking up (I think!), what's a few more weeks!

Alljamissweet Mon 23-May-16 13:32:38

By way of reassurance, our BM did make significant changes since our LO was placed to the extent that she managed to keep the next baby. Imagine how much I was sweating!
She was given leave to oppose but though it caused a 5 month delay, we were still granted the AO.
KEEP STRONG xxxx
You are nearly there. Go and do something nice that day. We went as a family to the beach ready to jump on a ferry 😂

Namechangeagain9 Mon 23-May-16 15:00:46

Hahaha don't tempt me All!

Wow, now THAT sounds awful I bet it felt like a lifetime.

Sadly BM is in a worse situation now than when DS was removed. I know he won't go to any birth family, they were all vetted prior to his placement order let alone beng linked to me but all logical thought goes out the window!

I'm trying PMA today and have ordered my court outfit online and a suit for DS so we're slicker than slick things at the celebration hearing smile

He is oblivious and I'm a nervous wreck holding back the tears, everything and anything is setting me off at the minute, adverts, Bing, DS shouting mummy (he's JUST learnt to say it!).

Now to continue with the PMA.....did anyone invite their and their DC's SW's to the celebration hearing and a meal afterwards, what's the etiquette in this situation apart from skipping away from SS offices

researchbookworm Mon 23-May-16 19:49:02

Your SWs will always attend the celebration hearing (was certainly presented to us as the norm anyway).
We invited ours to join us for lunch before as we totally loved both ours and AC's, but if you didn't have such a successful relationship I'm sure it's not expected!
Good luck at the hearing. Am sure it will be fine :-)

Namechangeagain9 Mon 23-May-16 20:56:57

Thanks research. Will have to have a think, don't want to burn any bridges in my haste to be rid of them!

marmalade999 Sun 29-May-16 21:20:51

HI there

Have you had AO yet? We've had a contested one but hopefully coming out the other side now.
Stress!!! Will be Sooooooooo glad to say goodbye to social workers grin

bloodynamechanges Sun 29-May-16 22:08:13

Hi, sorry I can't get the same name as I posted on but YES! AO was granted no one showed up and we're having our first celebration party tomorrow grin wine cake

Just waiting for a date for celebration hearing now so I have a few weeks to figure out how to keep my shit together at that and not snivel cry like a baby all the way through it!

Feels very surreal at the minute, as ecstatic as I am to know we're all permanent and as glad as I am to be rid of SS I'm feeling a bit like...now what.

Life has been so stressful and busy (as in calls, meetings, court dates - mainly worrying about all the calls, meetings and court dates!!) these last two years I can't get my head around being 'normal' again!

I think I've had enough drama for a lifetime but I suspect I will have lots more to come!

Just need to get on with life now smile

marmalade999 Sun 29-May-16 22:26:32

👍👍👍 congratulations 🍻🍻🍻🍻

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now