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Changing jobs before adoption?

(9 Posts)
Rainatnight Sun 22-May-16 09:01:17

I'd really welcome some wisdom from the MN adoption jury.

DP and I are about half way through assessment. All seems to be going well, hope to go to Panel in July.

My job is incredibly busy and stressful. Large team, highly pressurised environment, working late-ish most weekdays, and usually at least some of each weekend. I'm very tired and stressed at the moment.

I've already made up my mind that I'm not going back to this job after adoption leave, and I work in a large enough organisation/grouo of organisation to give me the flexibility to look for something else.

However, I'm also now wondering if I should change job to something less stressful before adoption. My main worry is that I just don't want to be so knackered and stressed heading into it. I've read on here how tiring intros are, and I'd like to be at my best.

And there are other things I'd hoped to accomplish before any LOs arrive, like passing my driving test (!), volunteering, sorting out dreadful storage situations and other things in the house. These are all things that get squeezed out by working so hard and being so tired.

All that is making me think that I should make the move sooner. But on the other hand, it could be ages before a LO actually arrives. And I'm generally seen at work to be doing well at this job - doing it up to adoption leave will give me more credit in the bank in terms of them helping me to get something more manageable afterwards.

So I'm a bit confused. What do you think, wise ones?

GodMother78 Sun 22-May-16 09:11:14

My husband changed just before we started the process. We were told to wait to apply to adopted until he was in his new job for a couple of months. I don't know if they may say that changing your job while adopting may be one stress to many.

RatherBeIndoors Sun 22-May-16 10:14:26

Being super-brutal about this, I would stay in the role that paid best (as long as it's not actually breaking you) if that has an impact on future company adoption pay! Adoption leave goes so fast, and can be extremely tough at first, so you don't want financial anxiety as well - which you might have if you'd moved to a different type of role and had different pay, and we're still getting used to that when your child then arrived too.

Would it be possible to take a series of half days of annual leave for driving lessons? And to book a block of annual leave between matching panel and introductions, to do house stuff?

If your job is making you feel stressed and desperate, and you think it would be straightforward to move internally to your company, then it might be fine. Since waiting for a match is stressful anyway, you can only do what seems like the least pressure for you!

RatherBeIndoors Sun 22-May-16 10:15:24

*were (not we're)

Rainatnight Sun 22-May-16 11:25:41

Totally agree with you, don't think that sounds brutal at all. We're actually saving like mad at the moment for that exact reason. Any internal moves actually wouldn't have an impact on my salary - when you're at a particular level then it's the same for all other jobs at that level. My wages would go down if I went part-time/job-share, which is an option, post adoption leave.

A bloc of time off for house stuff is a good idea. Half days for driving lessons would be tricky just now as I'm some half days for visits for our PAR assessment.

Rainatnight Sun 22-May-16 11:26:34

As I'm taking some half days, that should have been...

Daisy151 Sun 22-May-16 12:31:24

Hiya don't know if this helps but once you are approved at panel and the waiting begins you will have nothing to do but wait. After we were approved we had much more time to do all the things that I had been (like you) driving myself insane with. I kept thinking OMG we've so much stuff to do about the house etc.
These past few months I've managed to calm myself a little bit lol and each weekend we choose another thing on the list and it has slowly gone down to us being almost prepared. We've been unbelievably lucky as were approved early this year and have been linked to LO 2wks ago. But again as much as things are moving it will all still take time. And during this wait we are now just enjoying our time as a couple and also finishing off bits and pieces about the house and garden each Sunday when we are both off together. Needless to say I'm sitting on here and procrastinating on jobs at mo grin

Personally if it was me I'd do what gives you the best outcome for later on once your child is with you. But at same time don't make yourself miserable now if your job is making you unhappy. As an earlier post said that SW can sometimes ask for you to wait a while to continue with process if either of you go through big changes like jobs, house moves etc. But I'm guessing if you were staying with the same company then it shouldnt be an issue.

p.s the process on the whole is such an emotional and stressful journey but it does lift quite significantly once approval panel is out the way. Still not easy but I found other things in my life much easier to deal with once we got that yes at panel.
Hope this has helped a little

Italiangreyhound Sun 22-May-16 19:35:27

Do whatever makes you most happy. You could have a long it short wait. If losing out on pay or kudos is worse than hack g more time go for staying put, if vice versa then vice versa. If you will want to return part time to your role then stay, if it would be impossible to do your role part time then find a role that could go part time and get indespensible in that role. Really look at the big picture, not what will be good for a week or two but long term. Good luck.

Italiangreyhound Sun 22-May-16 19:37:42

long or short wait!

having more time not hake g more time...

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