Hello - a bit of background first if I may. I used to post on here about 2 years ago can't remember my username or the email so I'm starting a fresh.
We adopted a little girl 18 months ago - 9 months after registering with a va. She is brilliant but boy has it been a journey. She settled in fairly quickly but adjusting as parents was hard. I'm not a good mum it turns out. I'm trying hard to be less me and a better mum but by all accounts I love her immensely and she loves us too. She is my world and all my negativity is annoyance at myself and not her at all. Although she is nearly 3 so there are tantrums too haha. She is a happy child and everyone says so, she's never had a bad word said by nursery staff she is such my good girl.
However. The last few months she has been increasingly naughty. I know this is not a well liked words but saves me digging out the thesaurus. Tantrums are more frequent and unexpected. Most of this I chalk down to her age and we get on with it.
However part two. We went on a weekend break last minute then came home for a few days, celebrated a year since she was adopted through the courts with a nice trip to a restaurant, then we went on holiday for a week. She was pretty bad on holiday. We chalked it down to tiredness new place etc. We did all the things we usually do on holiday (we have been on 6 breaks of varying sizes and forms in the last 18 months) like have a picture of home, FaceTime with my aunt who looks after our dogs, talk about how many days we have left til home, talk about home and her dolly we left in the car seat to collect when we return etc. But something was up.
And here's the punchline. She's been talking about being adopted a lot. She's not 3 for a few months so I'm not sure she gets it at all. But this morning she spoke to my mum on the phone and said "mummy and Daddy adopted me" out of the blue. Then After she said to me "daddy married mummy then I adopted them" and a few days ago she talked about it all day.
Long winded story over. What shall I do? We have always talked about the adoption with her but not in great detail - just the way I would expect anyone to talk to a almost 3 year old. We want her to be aware of her birth family but I don't want to confuse her too much right now.
Does anyone have any tried and tested books or YouTube videos or points I can reassure her?
We didn't realise she was anxious about it too much til now and I know that might have been presumptive of us but like I say she's a happy clever soul and we aren't stuffy or unloving she's loved completely.
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Adoption anxiety appearing
3 replies
fstop · 10/05/2016 11:09
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