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What is the best way to trace my birth mother?

(4 Posts)
BigSandyBalls2015 Fri 15-Apr-16 11:54:44

I'm in my late 40s, both birth parents were Irish and my mother came over to London to have me, then went back home as far as I'm aware. None of her family were aware that she was pregnant, strict catholics - she was in her late teens and pretended she had a job in London.

I had a very happy childhood with amazing adoptive parents and an adoptive brother but, since having my own children, I've often wondered about a part of them that we know nothing about. One daughter in particular would love me to trace my birth family - my mother was one of 10 so she keeps saying she's probably got loads of cousins!

Anyway, what is the best way of going about it please. Success stories!

I realise I could be opening a can of worms, that her family may still know nothing about me, and her husband/children. Or she may not be interested in contact with me.

Clockworklemon Fri 15-Apr-16 19:26:27

I don't have personal experience of this but saw that no one had replied yet. This looks like a useful place to start

www.gov.uk/adoption-records/the-adoption-contact-register

good luck

Offredalba Sat 16-Apr-16 14:05:45

www.adoptionsearchreunion.org.uk/default.htm

Might be a good place to start. I know that NORCAP has been shut down, however in Scotland, an organisation called Birthlink provide services to adopted people and family members. Some adoption agencies will help you to trace records.
Can I suggest that you do some reading. Evelyn Robinson books specifically about reunion are available on Kindle.
You also have an entitlement to some counselling. I don't know anyone who used it and found it in anyway satisfactory.
I wish you well in your search. Good luck.

Italiangreyhound Sun 17-Apr-16 18:40:22

BigSandyBalls2015 good luck in your search.

I am an adoptive parent and have not experienced what you have but wanted to just say hi and support you in your search.

Can I ask - how old is your dd?

I understand you want to find out for you, and also for your dd, but please, please do manage your daughter's expectations (I am sure you will). If she currently has cousins these will be people who she probably has a very different relationship with to anyone she may meet through a reunion, at least in the short term, and she needs to be prepared, I am sure you will.

You could also try this organisation ...

www.afteradoption.org.uk/our-services/searching-people-and-information

I'd also recommend a few sessions of talking to someone about this before you start, just to make sure you are prepared. If your dd is an adult she might be a 'friend' and supporter through this but it sounds like she is a child so I would try and not involve her too much until you know what situation you are dealing with.

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