I have name changed due to the nature of my problem. I thought about posting in 30 days or Chat, but decided that although Adoption does not get much traffic, I really need specialised and experienced fellow adopters (who sadly my have faced similar challenges) to advise me....
My son is 15 years old. Adopted him into our family when he was 8 months old. I have other (born to me) children. My son does not want the school to know that he is adopted. It is not obvious that my son is living outside of his family of origin, his appearance, build, complexion etc is similar to my other children. (He was adopted through and adoption agency not our LA, not sure if that is important. At the time of his adoption the LA was, I was told informed)
The school SENCO is aware that my son is adopted (one of his siblings told the school), but I don't think this information has been passed onto the SLT and HT. (My son has been given 25% extra time by the SENCO for all public exams/assessments because 'he is chaotic and the extra time will help him'. He hates this 'I am not thick!'))
Up to now, I have respected my son's wishes not to formally disclosed his adoption to the school. However my son is now at a point where permanent exclusion is a real possibility.
I have a meeting scheduled for after the Easter holidays (my son is currently excluded from attending school for a week). A managed move is likely to be offered at this meeting. We have been told that a person from the local education authority will be present at this meeting. My son wept when I told him it is likely he will be asked to leave his school. He wants to stay with his siblings and friends.
I don't know where to start tackling this problem.
Do you think it would it be okay to go against my son's wishes and disclose that he is an adopted person? What difference would telling make? Would it be possible to get some additional support for my son? (I am divorced, and exH, in true MN style is an absolute arse, utterly useless, he does not see any of his children. Or provide any support of any kind. But that is the subject of another thread) I would really like some help with this, I feel out of my depth and unsure of what to do for the best outcome.
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They want to Permanently Exclude My Son....
15 replies
HopePeaceCalm · 19/03/2016 19:07
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