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Introductions

(14 Posts)
Catvsworld Fri 11-Mar-16 10:53:27

Hi starting the introduction in a few weeks shall we use the FC pram or start using ours

Also the FC drives but is refusing to travel to ours so oh is haveing to drive all the way to FC pick her and baby up the drive all the way home then drop them back and drive home again

She figures she can't drive out of her. Area what ???? Surely if you can drive then you can drive

Kr1stina Fri 11-Mar-16 11:19:59

I think you having to do all the travelling is quite normal I'm afraid . How many hours drive is it to their house ? It's it's more that 2 hours then you might be better to stay in a hotel for part of it .

FC May need authorisation to claim travel expenses for out of her area . I strongly suggest that you don't get difficult with the FC at this stage, even if you feel they are in wrong . They can make your life difficult if they want to .

All these things should have been agreed at the planning meeting .

Catvsworld Fri 11-Mar-16 12:08:42

Hi I do now this as were 2nd time adopters just having a rant really were gonna just have to get on with it gurrr

MypocketsarelikeNarnia Fri 11-Mar-16 14:07:55

Rant away smile brewcake

UnderTheNameOfSanders Fri 11-Mar-16 14:16:41

I would suggest FC pram at FC house, and your own at your house. If going for trips in your car then your pram / whatever.
That's what we did for DD2 at least with pushchairs (nearly 9 years ago!!).

MintyLizzy9 Fri 11-Mar-16 14:32:24

I used my own buggy so he would be used to it with FC still there.

Congrats btw!

NigelLikesSalad Fri 11-Mar-16 14:51:49

We used our own buggy/car seat soon as we started intros. I think the travel thing is quite normal although after the first visit to our house FC didn't come again so we just did pick up then dropped off either end of the day. It's not for very long, focus on the end goal and let it go over your head.

bostonkremekrazy Mon 14-Mar-16 22:43:23

cats - same issue here, fc refused motorway drive. (3rd placement that a fc has refused to drive on motorways!)

the sw facilitated the fc visit to our home, so she picked up fc/babe, brought them to ours and stayed for an hour. once happy babe was settled sw/fc left and we drove babe home few hours later.
the sw used it as her supervised visit for the week before the review before babe moved in.
as we knew this at planning meeting sw offered at this point - could you ask childs sw for something similar?
it is very annoying! i cannot believe people do not drive 30 minutes down a motorway!

3PurpleCrocs Tue 29-Mar-16 18:29:31

Just adding my two cents as a foster carer. In my local authority we get ZERO money for travel, whereas adopters get quite a generous mileage. We also still have to attend compulsory support groups/stat visits with SWs/look after other children living with us so money may not have been the only issue.

As a very experienced carer I can now shout loud enough to get meetings moved, but I'm not sure I'd have had the confidence to do so for my first few moves.

As we also get no money for "hosting" introductions lots of FCs are seriously out of pocket after feeding and entertaining new families for 2 weeks.

Kr1stina Tue 29-Mar-16 19:02:49

Purple crocs - I'm sorry to hear that you get no mileage allowance at all , although I don't know any adopters who have got one either,unless it was a Hard to place child. I appreciate its not the same as its a job for the FC- I think you should get mileage if Sw get it .

And I'm really surprised to hear that there are Fc who feed adopters for two weeks. I know some who have had coffee / biscuits at Fc house during the first few visits , but after that the child has usually gone out somewhere with the Adopters and thereafter to their new home for day visits .

TBH most adopters find it a very stressful time and want to get the child home asap , rather than sitting in the Fc house being given meals every day for two weeks . That sounds very odd to me and I don't think the FC should have agreed to that at the planning meeting, it's quite an unreasonable expectation .

I hope your next move goes more smoothly.

Catvsworld Tue 29-Mar-16 22:19:47

Sadly not its on Sunday

3PurpleCrocs Tue 29-Mar-16 22:39:02

Ah, maybe it's because I usually take hard to place children then that all the adoption moves I've done have involved allowances for adopters. Lots of them take place over a long period too - we've had everything from two weeks, to six weeks of daily introductions. Lots of it takes place at mine as it's still "home" to the child.

I never raise food at introduction planning as it simply wouldn't occur to me NOT to feed new parents! I wouldn't be promoting them very well to my foster children if I couldn't sit down and eat with them myself.

fasparent Wed 30-Mar-16 00:03:56

Same as 3PurpleCrocs, think it same for many FC's , 600 mile round trip and more not uncommon, not that we mind, hit's our budget though.
Most important is that introductions run well and are not effected in any way.

Kr1stina Wed 30-Mar-16 14:07:12

6 weeks of daily visits shock what a nightmare

I think it's shocking that SW gets mileage allowance but Fc don't . There's probably a discrimination claim there

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