Family introducing new partner

[BarkGruffalo]

Been here a while but name change regularly.

LO with us since summer 2013. He's now 4.

SIL was married but separated last year. It has emerged that they were having problems for a long time but stayed together when our LO was placed because they thought it would be difficult for us (we had no idea at the time). What actually happened is that LO got attached to an uncle who subsequently dropped off the face of the earth which has taken some explaining.

SIL has now been seeing someone for a month and is talking about bringing him to a family do at Easter, so after she's been seeing him for 2 months. I am uncomfortable about this because it still seems a bit early - it could be yet another person who disappears out of our LO's life if things don't work out. However I'm not sure if I'm overreacting. What are your thoughts please?

[Hels20]

I think I would be fine with SIL bringing a new partner but I would ask SIL to make sure her new partner doesn't overly engage with your child. I also assume it is for a few hours - rather than eg a whole weekend. If it was for a whole weekend and it was just SIL and your family I might think differently.

For the first three months, DS saw no one apart from my parents and my best friend. Over the next 9 to 12 months, the circle was increased. Now I feel very relaxed about him meeting new people - though try and avoid large gatherings as he doesnt like them.

I think you are right to be cautious but I also think at this age - children don't really understand adult relationships. The new partner should just be introduced as her friend. Not as a boyfriend. Or as an uncle.

[BarkGruffalo]

Thanks Hels, sounds like a good course of action