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Foster To Adopt

(6 Posts)
Jo71 Sun 07-Feb-16 20:13:47

Anyone going the foster to adopt route with a BC. If so how are you managing expectations??

Hels20 Sun 07-Feb-16 20:17:26

Watching with interest. We have been asked to consider foster to adopt but have an adopted child already.

HGrace Sun 07-Feb-16 21:01:56

Me too!

Jo71 Mon 08-Feb-16 09:03:15

We are going to panel in April for both. Are thinking of foster to adopt, have a few friends that have been placed and gone on to adopt. Just aware of risks!!

Minna2010 Tue 16-Feb-16 16:27:00

Hi I have just stumbled across this post. I have adopted three girls who we fostered for two years before they became legally ours. If we hadn't have fostered that would have been lost years without them, which would really have reduced their chances of being placed together which makes me feel that we really did the right thing. We also have been fostering a baby boy since he was 4 weeks old and are now in the process of adopting him. So for us it was really worthwhile to foster. Although to be honest we never really intended on adopting anymore after the girls but we just couldn't bear the thought of losing him

Kr1stina Wed 17-Feb-16 15:20:20

The thing about FTA is that it's very black and white. If it works out and you get to adopt the child/ ren, as Minna did,then it's wonderful .

If you lose your child, it's a disaster.

Hopefully not for the child, but definitely for the ( prospective ) adopters . It's not just that you have lost the child that you hoped would be yours . Sometimes you are aware that the child is going into a less than ideal situation .

I know one foster family whose child went to a member of the birth family, then within weeks was in hospital with a non accidental injury, which led to a permanent brain injury and significant disability . The child went back to the same FC.

Another family saw the child placed with a member of the extended family , only to be returned to care . SS wouldn't let the original FC have the baby back, as they were only approved for FTA and the plan for this child was to support the birth family to keep the child.

Another issues is that you have to be able to treat the child as a FC, and then change to being your own child. I mean in your head and heart of course, not physically . It can be hard to switch on and off your feelings in this way .

I think it's even harder for children in the FC family . I don't think I would be it if I already had children .

It's complicated practically with leave from work . And it's also hard to deal with the reaction of extended family and friends .

Sorry to sound so negative . It's wonderful if it works out. And obviously fewer moves are in the best interest of children . But the people carrying ALL the risk are the FC and they need to be prepared for this

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