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2nd time adopters

(3 Posts)
Tamponlady Fri 22-Jan-16 22:53:28

Any one exprinced long distance introductions

My little daughter will be staying with my friend for 4 days

Any thoughts

What if she thinks I am not coming back she is 3 years old

researchbookworm Sat 23-Jan-16 00:25:20

No direct experience of this with an existing AC, but just wondered if you could Skype so that she can see you virtually each day?

Also (possibly stupid question) but have you definitely ruled out taking her with you? Our BC (age 4) came away with us for intros with our AC. It was v complicated as some of the time it needed to be just us with the AC, so grandparents had to be on hand to look after our BC, but it did mean we got to spend time with each of them every day which made a big difference overall...

Devora Sun 24-Jan-16 23:38:25

Hi Tamponlady, I also adopted dd2 when I had a 4 yo bc. We had to travel 3 hours to get to dd2 (and we don't drive), and then stay in a holiday rental. The idea was that dd2 would be with us all week, but we would do the first day without her.

In the end, it didn't work out: fc treated dd1 so abysmally we arranged for her to stay with a relative instead.

I have to say, being long distance made the whole thing much more stressful. It would have been much easier if we could have recuperated every evening at home, and massively better for dd1. At the end of the week, we had to travel 3 hours home, got home at 9pm to find the front door lock was bust! And then next morning had to get up and take care of a newly adopted child - all we wanted was a couple of days rest!

Anyway, your particular concern is being apart from your 3yo for 4 days. I would be concerned about this too. Presumably this will be the longest she was been away from you? Of course, it's not just the stress of the 4 days but that straight after she will be sharing you with another child. Is it out of the question for your friend to accompany you in order to take care of dd1 for some of the time?

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