Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.
medical report(4 Posts)
We had our first day of prep course and came back to our medical reports finally having arrived. They both say the exact same thing, that they should explore our stress strategies due to previous (by 6-10 years) mental health issue and that we should keep an eye on our alcohol consumption.
Whilst at prep group they made a joke about the medical expert being a bit obsessed with alcohol intake and said that she "doubles the low estimates because the obviously are not true" (in her opinion) but when we were honest and said that we drink 10-15 units a week (hubby 15-20) we are told to visit drinkaware! You can't win!
Was anyone else told they need to watch their intake because I think a bottle of wine over the course of a week is pretty reasonable?
A 750ml bottle of wine (ABV 13.5%) contains 10 units, which is just over 4 glasses. That does not sound too much to me. But by saying 10-15 you've kind of implied it could be a bottle in half. If she really does double it then she might be thinking you are drinking 3 bottles a week, which sounds like a lot!
We didn't get asked anything about it after our medical, we only drink a small amount. I've heard adopters joking about needing a drink etc. In many ways I think it is not a great joke to make as some kids are in the care system because their birth parents could not control their alcohol intake.
MrsH1989 I am not being 'bossy' here because I know you are only just starting your prep group, and I really hope it goes well.
I hope someone can come along and answer your question more helpfully. Good luck with the course.
I think it's way simpler than that.
Govt advice is that men and women should drink no more than 14 units a week and you're pretty much told them that you're drinking more than that so they don't have much choice but to advise you that your drinking is already at the maximum (or above).
you might think 20 units is fine but the government doesn't think so and the medical adviser isn't going to do anything except follow those guidelines. I think the fact that you might be dismissive of the idea that you might be drinking (at best) at the top end of what is acceptable might make a panel uneasy.
So read the drinkaware site as suggested and agree that you will keep an eye on your drinking (because you do need to not because you know it's the right thing to say!) and accept that it's very easy to start drinking a little bit more when you're stressed and at the moment you have no buffer zone in which to do that!
Good luck, I doubt it's a big problem but how you approach it (in reality not in theory) will be a good indicator of how able to are to accept things you hadn't previously considered and to be open and honest and flexible. It won;t be the last thing you 're challenged on and have to consider through the strange lens of being an adopter rather than Joe on the Clapham Omnibus.
We nearly had a spanner in the works from the same thing: the medical advisor said that we drank too much "to safely parent a child". Which was upsetting because he had made similar assumptions that we had lied about our consumption. But also because we had managed to bring up DS for five years already.
Anyway, we had to give statements about how we never drank to excess except on rare, special occasions; if we did we always made sure that one of us remained sober; we never drank to excess in front of DS; and we didn't exceed the recommended limits. It was
a load of baloney a pain, but we got there in the end
I think Kew is right that if you declare that you drink more than the limits, they have to say that's not OK, so you need to work out how you respond
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.