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Matching panel, freaking out!

(22 Posts)
Mrscollydog Thu 14-Jan-16 22:45:19

Hi all,
I have been lurking for a while and appreciating all the sound advice and positive stories.
We are 14 months into.our adoption journey and are at matching panel on Monday for a 16 month little girl. We already have an 8 year old BS.
I am wobbling today! Scared of what will happen, what we are bringing into our lives and what the future holds! I think being an obsessive forum lurker hasn't helped esp adoptionuk.
It sounds like I am being really negative, I am not, we are all desperate for it happen too.
Just need a bit of handholding?
Wise words?
This is normal, right?

OP’s posts: |
tldr Thu 14-Jan-16 23:24:08

I don't know if it's normal, but I was freaking out too; it was our point of no return, which I found really hard.

And wrt forums, people mostly don't post to say that everything is rosy.

Wise words; fill the freezer; declutter; have one last hoorah with your friends, it might be a while...

tldr Thu 14-Jan-16 23:27:28

And grow a thick skin so you can happily tell people to do one when they tell you you're parenting weirdly.

And rehearse what you're going to tell people when you turn up at school with a new toddler. Have an answer ready for people who ask too intrusive questions.

And good luck!

Mrscollydog Fri 15-Jan-16 06:33:45

Thanks for the advice!

The point of no return is absolutely right. I can't turn back or give up on it now, we are committed to our bubba and both already fallen for her but it doesn't make it any less terrifying.
I keep thinking about what could go wrong and forgetting to remember the reasons why we are doing this.
Going to focus on some decluttering this weekend! Try and distract myself.

OP’s posts: |
thefamilyvonstrop Fri 15-Jan-16 08:08:21

Definitely normal! I think it would be odd to NOT feel apprehension as there is so much that's unknown with adoption. But you will be fine, you will have issues come up and you will deal with it.
Good luck - looking forward to hearing your matching panel update next week!

Kewcumber Fri 15-Jan-16 10:44:31

YEs normal - the most scared I've ever been. If you need distraction then come and declutter my house when you've finished yours.

Mrscollydog Fri 15-Jan-16 10:53:30

smile, its totally all consuming! Concentrating at work is proving to be a challenge! Had long chat with husband about it late last night and made me feel better. I know this is the right thing for us but still scared half to death.

OP’s posts: |
Devora Fri 15-Jan-16 20:47:12

I was gibbering with terror. Scariest thing I ever did! But (despite what you might think, if you've ever read one of my miserable posts) it was one of the best things I ever did, because I opened my heart to more love and got it smile

Mrscollydog Fri 15-Jan-16 21:01:20

4 bin bags removed from kitchen diner! Jeez how did we accumulate so much junk! Appreciate everyone's support.

OP’s posts: |
Italiangreyhound Sat 16-Jan-16 00:59:18

All normal! We were in a similar position almost 2 years ago with a three year old boy and a nine year old birth dd. So far (fingers crossed) it's all gone well. They love each other and us, and we love them, and although not always smooth, it is normal life (for us).

ChristineDePisan Sat 16-Jan-16 02:50:38

If you weren't worried that would mean that something wasn't right smile

Good luck on Monday!!

Mrscollydog Sat 16-Jan-16 18:39:35

Well things have taken a turn! DS had a fit out of the blue in his sleep last night. Flipping terrifying. Hospital said they think it is just a one off but waiting for more investigations. Know this will change everything on Monday. Can't imagine they will match us know. So worried and sad about it all.

OP’s posts: |
Italiangreyhound Sat 16-Jan-16 19:35:43

Mrscollydog Try not to worry. Just take one day at a time. Sorry to hear about your ds. Hope all will be well soon.

ChristineDePisan Mon 18-Jan-16 23:19:58


How did it go today?

Italiangreyhound Tue 19-Jan-16 00:54:38

How did it go, how is ds?

Mrscollydog Tue 19-Jan-16 06:40:22

Oh gosh what a crazy enotional weekend! So DS is fine, seems entirely.unscathed by the whole affair, just us that appear traumatised by it.
Matching panel was tough, took ages for us to be called in, they took apart LOs SW for the crap CPR (we knew it was crap and got the info we needed ourselves). But we got a unanimous yes!!!!!!!
Can't believe it, I never thought I could be a mum again and its happening! Little dot should be home by the end of Feb.
Who knows what the future holds for any of us, we will just do the best we can!!
Thanks again for all your support.

OP’s posts: |
Devora Tue 19-Jan-16 10:01:14

Wow well done smile

tldr Tue 19-Jan-16 11:51:28

Congratulations! flowers

And I hope you recover from DS's seizure. If you're not used to them they can be terrifying to see. (Obviously, I hope he's okay too and that you don't have to get used to seeing them!)

Kewcumber Tue 19-Jan-16 12:04:53


Italiangreyhound Tue 19-Jan-16 23:00:11

Great news. Hugs for both you children. thanks

Mrscollydog Tue 19-Jan-16 23:04:25

Thanks all, so far so good with ds. Provisional date of 11th Feb to start intros.
Doesn't feel real at all

OP’s posts: |
meandyouplustwo Wed 20-Jan-16 15:23:58

Hi mrscollydog, had some great support here and just want to add my twopenny worth in !
We were in your position exactly a year ago. Had a 7 year old BD and adopting 11 month old.
Wow i was a right state ! but actually looking back no more nervous that my friends who had 1 and expecting their second.
How would i do bathtimes? they bath together , insist on it infact!, mornings / yes its busy but managable , again we help each other. Was we doing the right thing ? who can tell but we will do our best !
I was most nervous about how my "two" (still sounds wierd) would get on - well 1 year on you cant get a piece of paper between them , the love affair between them is wonderful. when asked my 8 year old recently said " i didnt know how hard sharing would really be , but i love my sister and even when she breaks my lego i feel the same".
Seriously , who knows what the future will bring for any child , but enjoy the first year of becoming a family. give little time to people giving helpful advice , unless it really is helpful of course. And go with it .
( I recently visited a family member who had had her first bc, she was looking wide eyed and shell shocked , and I remember that feeling with my first but not with my second ha ! and you haven't got birth to recover from - so thats a bonus)
Hope you have as wonderful a first year as i have had x

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