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Ex husband Reference for adoption

(6 Posts)
Maple21 Tue 05-Jan-16 11:48:45

Hi, I'm new on here and I was just looking for some advice with regards to adoption. I was with my ex-H and we was trying to conceive for nearly 3 years but due to infertility on my part we was due to have IVF but I at to cancel it due to finding out my husband was a secret drinker alcoholic and he became aggressive leading up to the IVF. I tried to help him with his problems but he was in denial and didn't want to attend AA meetings or go the GP we have now split up and getting a divorce but I'm just wondering if I'd still be able to adopt on my own and if my ex-H would go against my application due to him being an alcoholic? I also don't think he would give me a nice reference. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you

researchbookworm Tue 05-Jan-16 15:23:28

It doesn't sound like anything you have said would cause too many problems with an adoption application. They'd certainly want to know as much as possible about your past relationship, and they may want to interview your ex (although they might not), but even if he is really negative about you that doesn't mean that SS would rule you out. In my experience they use a lot of common sense when assessing people, and understand that there may be people in your past with negative emotional baggage.
If you are thinking about going into this as a single adopter then they will be far more interested in your existing support network, your finances etc.
Good luck if you decide to go ahead smile

researchbookworm Tue 05-Jan-16 15:24:55

Ps I suspect they would also ask a lot about your fertility issues as they would need to know that you have come to terms with them and are fully on board with adopting a child instead.

Maple21 Tue 05-Jan-16 20:28:22

Thank you for your reply Researchbookworm.
Hopefully I will have nothing to worry about if i decide to proceed
I would be looking in Adopting as a single parent. I feel that my finances are ok and I have a very close family who would help support me. : )

Tamponlady Tue 05-Jan-16 21:27:18

You would have to wait until you are divorced

Maple21 Tue 05-Jan-16 21:51:40

Thank you wink . I kinda thought that would be the case.

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