Have name changed as this will totally out me but am a regular
Have DS and DD placed 20 months ago when they were 6 and 4 They are full siblings.
Things are going ok... We had a rough patch a while back but they are good kids and are starting to show signs of being properly settled, ie starting new year at school didn't phase them as much as I thought it would etc.
Things for DH and I (especially DH) are turbulent at work. Hopefully will be resolved soon though.
We have just found out (not through Social Services - had no contact from them) that birth mother is pregnant again
She is unlikely to be reassessed favourably. I don't know anything about this LO's birth father (different from my two's birth father) or whether anyone in his family would be approved so this may never be a concern.
But of course we are immediately thinking it may have the outcome of LO needing to be adopted and we know we may get the call.
Some questions if I may.
1
We put a call in for some support to the LA a while ago for DD and DS. It didn't come to much from their LA although they did an assessment (long story but they then decided they wanted to reassess before putting any support in place. We were in a better place by then and had accessed great support via a different method so never pushed it). Would this colour the LAs view on whether we're to be approached (if it ever got that far)?
2
If (I know it's a big if, yadda yadda) we were looked at for this LO, what's the process nowadays? Foster to Adopt? Presumably that means LO will still have direct contact with BM and BF. How does that work then? (we have been advised against ever meeting birth mum as she has tried to trace the kids quite aggressively in the past)? This question sounds ridiculously mercenary and I don't mean it to, but do you get paid to foster during the fostering bit? Does the LA provide things like cots? Obviously I know the risks with foster to adopt and while I don't mind forking out hundreds if adopting, I don't want want to if LO would only be with us for a few weeks/months. Sorry, I know that sounds incredibly mercenary.
3.
Has anyone ever been in this position? What things did you consider when reaching a decision? My immediate thought is if we take this half sibling, what happens if she has another, and another? At the moment. The 'line is drawn' with us having the full siblings (there are two other half siblings out there on dads side who were adopted at the same time as ours)
Any other insights in terms of thought processes/what to expect over the coming months would be greatly appreciated - especially if you did this, how it affected your existing kids (which is, of course, my primary concern).
Many thanks
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Oh crap. Just found out birth mother is pregnant again
5 replies
MrsWillMcAvoy · 20/10/2015 13:03
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