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Whoops! Got a bit heated with lady in the library!

(16 Posts)
Kazza299 Sun 02-Aug-15 08:34:59

So DS2- 5, is really struggling with the school holidays. Loads of anxiety, lots of toilet issues etc.

Went to the library yesterday as it was a quiet, usual, normal activity. The whole family went (DS is more settled when we are altogether rather than one of us being at work) anyway, the tantrums started on the way but calmed when we got there then escalated during the visit. Very hyper, shouting and screaming when we tried to hug him, running round wildly!

DH and are are pretty good with this stuff normally and are calm and smiley but today......
Some older lady happened to mention quite loudly to her husband what a disgrace it was to allow children to behave that way and 'why can't parents control their children these days.' Well... I was standing right by her as DH had DS and she certainly got my Roth!!!
Along the lines of 'you have no bloody right to criticise my child or my parenting skills! He is a traumatised child blah blah blah' 'well I don't just mean your child, it's like that all the time here at the moment' was her reply. 'Well keep your bloody opinions to yourself because you don't know what's happened to any of these children'

She storms out, I storm out shouting after her- whoops! DS gets out and runs off! Shouting about how I'm not his mum and he hates me!

Typical day for us nowadays! Lol. Other people don't usually get to me but clearly this poor old woman got all my pent up frustration! Eek!

StealthPolarBear Sun 02-Aug-15 08:36:35


saintlyjimjams Sun 02-Aug-15 08:39:23

Well that's what she risks being pass remarkable. (Severely autistic son, so veteran of the snidey comment from people who know fuck all).


LastingLight Sun 02-Aug-15 09:07:52

Your story brought a picture into my mind of a mother bear protecting her cub! While your behaviour wasn't ideal it came from a place of deep love for your DS and I don't think you should beat yourself up over it.

MrsDeVere Sun 02-Aug-15 09:12:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JamHoneyMarmite Sun 02-Aug-15 12:28:31

What MrsDeVere said.

And also, a time that DS saw you stand up for him regardless, which is another brick in building your bond together. Well done for keeping his world structured and contained, to help him manage the holidays - not easy.

Go gently on yourself, we all have days when calm seems a long way off!

OttiliaVonBCup Sun 02-Aug-15 14:38:42

Standing up to someone is admirable, shouting at someone while standing up for someone, not so.

Not sure it's good thing your DS saw you, so I disagree with the above poster.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

passmethewineplease Sun 02-Aug-15 14:42:18

Maybe not Ottila, but clearly OP was stressed and sounds as if they've been dealing with quite a bit. She's only human, and tbf if people don't want to be confronted they should keep their prejudice opinions to themselves. Problem solved.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sun 02-Aug-15 14:43:55

Old people making snidey comments, or in fact anyone making snidey comments at parents who are clearly having difficulties are just rude. Might make her think twice about passing comment out loud in the future - but yes, you could probably have handled it a leetle more diplomatically - next time you will, I'm sure.

Shame your DS got upset about it though.

WereJamming Sun 02-Aug-15 17:59:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JaneDonne Sun 02-Aug-15 19:18:00

Yeah kazza you need to read the mn adopters rule book. Subsection 5 item ii.b. <ahem!> adopters must behave perfectly at all times whatever the provocation. They should understand any and all snide remarks or difficult situations opportunities to edumercate the general populace who cannot be held responsible for their own ignorance.

Devora Sun 02-Aug-15 20:31:18

I cannot tell you how many times this week I have had to breathe deeply and count backwards from ten. Failed and lost my rag a few times sad. Holidays with our kids can be really taxing.

ASAS Sun 02-Aug-15 20:41:02

Sounds like you did great. Hopefully she'll think twice next time.

We (non adoption, not sure why I always say that, the situations are usually the same) were in the library recently with friends. Running wild, noisy plus I was frazzled having been called "cruel" on the way to the library in an unsolicited gem of wisdom (which yes, I ignored, but it gets to you).

Anyway, I'm well aware the adults on the computers are probably job searching etc so I'm trying to keep the herd in the kids area.

A librarian came marching over. With book bug bags. I could have hugged her.

Mon the libraries!

Kewcumber Mon 03-Aug-15 00:04:08

Look on the brightside, it will give her something to complain about to her friends other than feral children in the library. Feral paretns in the library shock

Stuff the flowers have some wine

Sigma33 Mon 03-Aug-15 08:05:30

Tut tut! grumpy old people in the library ? In MY day old people knew their place, they stayed at home during child-accessible hours, and were grateful to receive a little attention from someone younger now and again. In return they understood their responsibility to provide a delicious plate of home cooked something-or-others (or tinned peached! Thank you Great Aunt Sarah - you were the best Old Person ever!).

Sigma33 Mon 03-Aug-15 08:09:47

peaches, that is, not peached...

young people and their spelling shock

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