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The most painful goodbye.

(76 Posts)
lookingforsunshine Sun 14-Jun-15 21:08:49

We have been fostering a baby through a foster to adopt scheme. We have had him for 7 months. We were advised that it was guaranteed we would get him (after some initial tricky times). Few weeks ago, we were told, totally out of blue that judge had decided baby should go back to birth family. We are absolutely distraught. We lose our beautiful boy later this week. We are absolutely broken. Such a horrible shock. Judge went against professional and guardians advice. We love our little one with all our hearts. Cant believe we will lose him.

lunar1 Sun 14-Jun-15 21:10:44

I'm so sorry, I don't have any words of advice. I just couldn't read and run. hmm

CocktailQueen Sun 14-Jun-15 21:13:53

Oh, how very sad for you. Hugs.

thejoysofboys Sun 14-Jun-15 21:14:05

That sounds truly awful sunshine. My heart goes out to you, your family and especially to the little boy. I hope the decision is what works out to be best for him.

Do SS offer any support for situations like this? I can't imagine how you feel right now but there must be others who can relate directly to your situation.

Huge hugs x

Springtimemama Sun 14-Jun-15 21:14:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wotsitsareafterme Sun 14-Jun-15 21:26:50

Can't read and run. It must be very hard.

Italiangreyhound Sun 14-Jun-15 21:56:52

So sorry about this. Thinking of you.

SilverNightFairy Sun 14-Jun-15 21:59:10

Looking, my heart is going out to you. I can't begin to know how you feel. Sending love and hugs to you and your family..xx

iwishkidslikedtomatoes Sun 14-Jun-15 22:06:41

There was a poster on here a while back ' roodle2 ' who had the same thing happen to them, I do hope he/she sees this and contacts you so as to support each other.

I'm so so sorry, I can only imagine what you must be going through. I hope the level of support you receive from SS equals the level of support a BP who has their child adopted also receives. While they're very keen to promote foster to adopt they need to have that support in place when the few that are reversed don't happen.

TBH I don't know what to say, because I can't think of any words that would make you feel any better sad It's just heartbreaking for all involved. I'm so sorry.

Bringonthesunshineplease Sun 14-Jun-15 22:11:23

So very sorry to hear this and I wanted to send some virtual hugs!flowersflowers flowers Hope you are getting lots of support and wishing you all the best!

MoJangled Sun 14-Jun-15 22:11:42

I gasped when I read this, but that will be nothing to the breath that's been knocked out of you. I can't possibly imagine what you're going through, but my heart goes out to you all.

ashtrayheart Sun 14-Jun-15 22:20:34

I'm so sorry sad

dibly Sun 14-Jun-15 22:38:37

I'm so so sorry. Please write to Martin Narey and share your story - this has to change. X

Devora Sun 14-Jun-15 22:58:05

Oh, you poor thing. That is beyond heartbreaking - I'm so very sorry.

MummySparkle Sun 14-Jun-15 23:08:00

Sending lots of virtual hugs your way. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling sad flowers

lookingforsunshine Sun 14-Jun-15 23:11:18

Thank you all. I'm glad I posted here tonight. Am touched by how many people have replied. We don't know how to live after we lose our boy. So lost.
Don't think either of us will ever trust anyone ever again.

How do we keep going? Don't have any idea what life will be about or how we function after our boy goes.
The pain is awful.

Isabeller Sun 14-Jun-15 23:11:40


meerschweinchen Sun 14-Jun-15 23:13:29

I'm so sorry, that's just heartbreaking sad

JesseandCeline Sun 14-Jun-15 23:17:59

I am so sorry.

StaceyAndTracey Mon 15-Jun-15 00:15:56


SilverNightFairy Mon 15-Jun-15 01:05:35

So angry and hurt on your behalf. Please forgive me if I have got it all wrong, but I think perhaps you must be grieving...not because your sweet baby has died, but because of the wrench from him...the loss is more than I can know. I hope you are surrounded by support, by people who love and care for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

wreckingball Mon 15-Jun-15 01:12:32

So sorry to read this, it must be the worst thing.
I'm adopted and my Mum told me that they'd had a little boy called Christopher who they had hoped to adopt but his Mother changed her mind and wanted to keep him, this must be over 55 years ago now.
She never forgot about him.
I wonder how long he was with you and you can take solace in the fact that you've given him a good start and a lot of love.

giraffesCantPluckTheirEyebrows Mon 15-Jun-15 01:34:30

Oh how sad x

undermythumb Mon 15-Jun-15 02:28:12

I am so sorry, I cannot begin to imagine your pain. I would reiterate Springtimes's words though I am sure it is of such little comfort.

Strokethefurrywall Mon 15-Jun-15 02:33:13

Oh god you poor thing - I can't imagine your pain. Thinking of you very much, you must be in agony thanks

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