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step parent adoption

(11 Posts)
Rhian2710 Thu 11-Jun-15 12:17:59

Hi any advice would be great,

Me and my partner have been together for 3 years have a child together and I have a daughter from a previous relationship he wants to adopt my daughter but my previous partner is on the birth certificate he was very abusive during our whole relationship and was charged by police he has previous violent charges too he has never bothered with my daughter but pays £10 a fortnight maintenance he did take me to court to see my daughter but the court said no due to him being violent and being a heroin addict Would my partner be able to adopt my daughter without his permission as I know he would say no just to hurt me

Thank you

Rhian2710 Thu 11-Jun-15 12:18:33

Step parent adoption

ThatIsNachoCheese Thu 11-Jun-15 12:21:03

How old is dd? Were you and her father married?

PipsPotatoes Thu 11-Jun-15 12:24:54

We've just begun our step parent adoption journey. My ex is on my children's birth certificates and social services need to get his permission for my husband to adopt them. They've told us there is no way he wouldn't be informed.

My ex hasn't seen the children in over 4 years, hasn't acknowledged them or paid for them. It makes for a good case but there is nothing stopping him from saying he will not agree. If he did that, we would have to contest it, give evidence on the stand and face legal costs.

Fortunately my ex has already said he will agree as he isn't interested in ever being a father to my children.

Rhian2710 Thu 11-Jun-15 12:25:07

She is 9, no we didn't marry

Rhian2710 Thu 11-Jun-15 12:27:49

You are lucky though, I know he will say no he was very abusive during our relationship and even a court thinks he should not see her he hasn't done anything for her it's annoying as I have looked after her all her life and she has just been diagnosed with adhd so hard times sad

PipsPotatoes Thu 11-Jun-15 12:38:10

I wouldn't say we are lucky. My ex was/is also a complete rotter who was abusive to me and has spent time in prison. He could change his mind at any time.

Its a lengthy process. We've been told it will take longer than 6 months. Social services visit you and your partner and child, and also the child's biological father, they make a report for the judge with their recommendations as to what will be best for your daughter. Ultimately, it's the judge who decides what's best for her. If they decide that your ex should remain your daughters legal father, nothing in your life or hers will change, you carry on as normal.

Your best bet, if you are serious about it, is to contact your local authority and ask for the fostering and adoption department. They will talk you through everything. There are other things that can be done so that your partner can get parental responsibility but social services will want to speak to your ex whichever route you go down.

Rhian2710 Thu 11-Jun-15 12:48:12

Bless you sounds like you have been through alot and I hope it goes right for you.
Thank you yes we are serious and want what is best for her and he is not it

PipsPotatoes Thu 11-Jun-15 13:00:54

I really appreciate that. Thank you.

And I know where you're coming from about her father. It will be tough but worth it. Good luck flowers

Rhian2710 Thu 11-Jun-15 20:51:00

Thank you!

Good luck to you too smile smile

Suiiening Mon 10-Aug-15 21:12:38

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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