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School photo

(42 Posts)
islurpmyspaghetti Wed 10-Jun-15 09:45:30

I just wondered if I could get any opinions on the subject of letting DC feature in the whole school photo which is being taken tomorrow.

The parent in me knows how much he will love it, how I don't want him to be left out of it and I really want a copy to treasure the memory of his schooldays.

The adopter in me panics about safety and Facebook and possibly identification issues. It is just that though: a panic.

Is anyone willing to share their own experience on this?

Thanks.

KumquatMay Wed 10-Jun-15 10:02:57

Could you speak to your DC teacher and ask them to draft a general letter requesting that photos don't go on Facebook? Anyone who wants to send them to friends/family can scan and private message them. And if the letter is a general 'due to safety concerns we request that these photos are not uploaded to Facebook' then your child won't be identified as the cause.

Alternatively, you could speak to the school - they might have a strategy for dealing with it already in place.

islurpmyspaghetti Wed 10-Jun-15 10:35:01

Parents are told not to upload the pictures, Kumquat, but apparently some still do. I do think that not everyone is aware of the safety concerns and feel it's a bit 'health and safety gone mad' when asked not to.

I suppose we're just weighing up the risk of possible identification (which is incredibly slim) with the reward of letting him be included (which is very very high).

Lweji Wed 10-Jun-15 10:41:14

Once the photo is out, just forget about controlling where it goes and where it doesn't.
Don't even bother with FB letters or requests.

If you are really worried about possible identification issues, then sorry, but don't allow your DC feature in the photo. Alternatively go and take one group photo yourself, or ask for a photo with your DC to be sent to you alone, and another to be taken without him for general release. Or even ask the photographer to release a group photo with your DC face smudged to difficult identification.

iwishkidslikedtomatoes Wed 10-Jun-15 10:43:43

Is it a primary school photo or secondary end of yr 11 one? I only ask because KumquatMay's advice is good for primary but controlling secondary pupils putting it on Facebook is unlikely. As you said whole school, I'm presuming primary smile

I really feel for you. Our LO just starting school and I've had to say no to any photos that feature on website or in newspapers and I totally feel like I'm already making LO 'different'. My mind may change in time as our BP's have no photos in contact and if their name does not go along with picture I think it will be hard to put the two together. I think it depends very much on the circumstances surrounding your situation.....which is not a very useful answer, sorry!

islurpmyspaghetti Wed 10-Jun-15 10:51:20

No, it is helpful, thanks, Tomatoes. It's a primary one... and I think we're in quite a similar boat. I don't want to make him feel different and I do think the chance of any 'repercussions' is very very very small but it is niggling me.

iwishkidslikedtomatoes Wed 10-Jun-15 10:58:26

It would niggle me too! Is it a big school? Just thinking, if 60 kids in a photo may be easy to spot, if 200 maybe not and you can worry less??

ALovelyTrain Wed 10-Jun-15 12:30:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

islurpmyspaghetti Wed 10-Jun-15 13:43:12

I totally agree, Lovely Train! That's kind of where I am at the moment too.

00100001 Wed 10-Jun-15 13:48:47

I cant really see what the issue is confused

MrsLeighHalfpenny Wed 10-Jun-15 13:52:36

I run a Brownie group, and we once had an adopted little girl with us. The parents instructed us not to allow her in any photos that we might use for publicity, then became cross with us for excluding her from group photos.

I really didn't feel comfortable taking the little girl away when there were cameras about, she was very resistant, and cried a couple of times, and it didn't seem fair to penalise the whole unit by not allowing photos at all - it was a really difficult situation.

I totally understand the issue of not wanting DD's face all over FB though - I think it would be best if you talk to the school, who are bound to have faced the problem before, and work out a mutually satisfactory solution.

Lweji Wed 10-Jun-15 14:00:48

I think you will have to consider what is the actual risk and what if someone would identify your child? Would it be that much of a problem?

ALovelyTrain Wed 10-Jun-15 14:03:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

morethanpotatoprints Wed 10-Jun-15 14:07:14

What really annoys me is it doesn't take a school any more time to write a letter explaining how some dc can't be identified. nobody would know who it was and then more parents would understand.
I used to be one who thought that warnings not to upload photo's onto fb was safety gone mad, as didn't understand any different.
I think parents would be supportive if they knew.

I was always in class photo's but it was different when I was little, there were quite a few adopted dc in my school as was quite common then.
there could still have been problems though if a family resemblance was recognised.

JimmyCorkhill Wed 10-Jun-15 14:10:03

I like Lweji's idea. Can you get the photographer or the class teacher to take one pic which includes your DC. That pic can be made available to only you. If you ask in advance they should be able to at least consider it.

SewingBox Wed 10-Jun-15 14:10:13

How "bad" would it be if she was identified. If it were some short term fuss and inconvenience, I'd probably take the chance if far reaching consequences no.

Would it be possible for your DS to have his own class photo? The company might do one without him for general distribution, then he can jump on the end of a row to have one that includes him, just for you and you would have control over whether that ends up on FB.

I have no idea if they'd do it, but it seems a practical solution to me

00100001 Wed 10-Jun-15 14:10:33

train but then isn't that an issue for all children?

SewingBox Wed 10-Jun-15 14:11:39

For most children, it doesn't matter if they get recognised and their whereabouts are made known. For some, it really matters sad

00100001 Wed 10-Jun-15 14:14:42

OK smile

islurpmyspaghetti Wed 10-Jun-15 14:16:07

001, I think there's a specific issue here.

If a DC's birth family have the potential to cause 'problems', by allowing your child on social media (particularly in uniform), you're leaving yourself open to people knowing (a) where your DC is at school and (b) where you most likely live and (c) where they'll be most days.

I don't especially enjoy having to wrestle with this issue but there is a specific point that I'm having to consider.

MegMogandOwlToo Wed 10-Jun-15 14:17:16

001 this thread is in the adoption section, if you didn't realise. smile

Lweji Wed 10-Jun-15 14:17:56

Or photoshop him into a class photo. smile

ALovelyTrain Wed 10-Jun-15 14:18:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ALovelyTrain Wed 10-Jun-15 14:19:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lweji Wed 10-Jun-15 14:22:21

The key thing is that letters do nothing to prevent photos getting into FB, unless there were penalties, and even so, how would you make sure nobody had put them on?

The only options are not to let your child be photographed, or to get photos with them for your private use only.

Even so, who's to say that parents won't take photos with your child at other times and post them on FB too?

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