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Post adoption depression

(9 Posts)
gabsdot45 Mon 08-Jun-15 12:47:26

I was wondering is anyone else had suffered from depression after adopting their child.
I had a period of depression which started a few weeks after we adopted our second and last child.
We had been through infertility, failed IVF and 2 very stressful foreign adoptions. Finally we were finished. Our family was complete with a boy and a girl and it was time to get on with raising our family.
It was totally out of the blue. I had never had depression before and it knocked me for six.
It lasted about a 18 months. It took me 6 months to go to the doctor. I took anti depressants for a year and went to see a counsellor too.
Thankfully I'm fine now.
Anyway, I'm just curious to know if anyone else has had a similar experiencec

motherearth1990 Mon 08-Jun-15 16:54:51

Have PM'd you x

Italiangreyhound Mon 08-Jun-15 17:59:19

Not anyone I know gabsdot45 but I have heard of it.

Thank you for being brave enough to share. Could you say, for anyone reading, what helped you get through it?

Best wishes.

gabsdot45 Mon 08-Jun-15 22:28:09

I got treatment. It was not going to go away by itself. Medication and counselling was what got me through.
It's 5 years ago now.
It was an eye opening experience. Now that I have had depression I understand what it's like, (obviously) and can sympathise with others who have also suffered.
I was and continue to be very open about my depression. I didn't hide it.

SBRMum Tue 09-Jun-15 10:40:33

I suffered a bit 3-4 weeks after placement. I felt 'weird'. There is an Adoption UK fact sheet all about it. Just reading that helped me. I realised I wasn't the only one. I wasn't alone.
When you adopt, especially, you imagine being perceived as wanting a child so much post-adoption depressive and negative thoughts shouldn't exist. That's how I felt anyway.
I didn't want to seem ungrateful, selfish, a bad Mum......etc etc. the fact sheet describes a lot of how I felt and to an extent, still feel.
You're not alone. Parenting is HARD regardless of the way the child came into your household. X

SBRMum Tue 09-Jun-15 10:41:29

Link to the fact sheet: www.nhs.uk/Livewell/adoption-and-fostering/Documents/Adoption%20UK%20Factsheet%2014%20-%20Post-adoption%20depression%20June%202013.pdf

Kazza299 Thu 11-Jun-15 09:32:49

Thank you for sharing. I have asked for some counselling this week and my SW said she could sort it and that it was for post adoption depression. I don't think I feel depressed. I manage to get up and the get the chn off to school everyday. But as soon as I have done that, I come back home to bed! I do try to meet a friend every week and do an activity. Essential things get done but 90% of the time I feel in a high state on anxiety and on the cusp of a panic attack. I feel counselling would help rather than medication.
What are your thoughts?

gabsdot45 Thu 11-Jun-15 11:40:51

Anti depressants should be avoided if you feel that you can recover without them. I found them useful but they were hard to come off. The withdrawal was difficult.
I found counselling was great. I had counselling before to deal with infertility and I am a talker so it was good therapy for me. Hopefully it will help you too.
I know what you mean about going back to bed, sometimes I found it so hard to just get out of bed. I was very 'meh' about everything. I just wasn't bothered about doing stuff. I did manage to keep doing what needed to be done though but there was no joy in anything.

dibly Thu 11-Jun-15 14:18:21

I think both anti depressants and counselling have their place. I don't know what lead to my depression, but I do know that dealing with a very rejecting child, feeling isolated (especially with my partner working away mon- fri), a lack of acknowledgement from SS that the rejection/attachment issues were very real (despite SWs from a neighbouring authority immediately spotting it,) and friends not understanding; all led to me feeling utterly down. I started a course of pills in Jan, with counselling, and really opened up to SS about how low I felt, even deferring AO til things were more stable; and things have improved massively. If I'm honest, the pills most of all, as they've helped me to function and see the joy in my LO again, which in turn has helped our relationship to develop. I'm also returning to work pt soon, which I'm looking forward to, I've missed having that balance in my life. Kazza, big hugs to you, I hope you get the help you need and feel better soon.

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