Can I adopt if I'm at university studying?

[chan321]

I'm 25, have an 18 month old biological daughter and I am a single parent. I work and i am currently renting (hoping to buy in the future). I am due to start a degree in social work in September.

My motive for adopting is simple, I want to give a child a happy loving home. I've always wanted to adopt and would like to do it while I'm still in my 20 ' s.

If I was to start the process would I be turned down because I'll be at university? If necessary I would be more than willing to take a year out to spend time with the child...

[Italiangreyhound]

Chan hi, I am not sure I understand you but I think you are perhaps confused about the kinds of children available for adoption and many other factors. Firstly the new child would need to be at least two years younger than your existing child and so you would not be eligible to consider adoption until your birth child was at least three if not older. I assume once you finish your study you will work so who would look after the child? I work part-time and when my dd was small she was in child care and now we have an adopted son who is in school too.

But the age of child you would adopt would need to be two years younger than your dd so would not be in school until age until your ee was 7. So you are talking about about 5 years time. By then you may have a job that is quite flexible etc and enough money and support around you to care for an additional child. If you adopted a child who was under school age and you were working part-time then you would need to pay for them to be in childcare. Not all adopted children take well to child care and the cost would be high. So I think these things would be a real hamper to you.

Your age is not a problem, neither is having a birth child. But the age of your birth child is and the fact you currently have (presumably) no income would all be against you (unless you have a private income). Also if you are studying and working when would you be with the child. Of course we all need to work or study some of the time, unless we are full time stay at home mums, which is rarer these days. But you would need to have time for your existing and new child.

My advice is keep reading and thinking about it for now and see how you feel later. Also I wonder why you feel you need to be in your 20s to give a child a good home?

Lastly, feel free to call your local adoption agencies but I am pretty sure you would not get very far at the moment because of the reasons I mentioned, and I hope they do not sound harsh.

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

Trust me, adopting in the middle of a social work degree would be a terrible idea. Adopting as a newly qualified social worker would also be dicey. Wait 5 years and see how it goes, it's not the right time for you now.

[Italiangreyhound]

Sorry - typos....
But the age of child you would adopt would need to be two years younger than your dd so would not be in school until your dd was 7.

[GraysAnalogy]

I think you need to start the course first and realise how much time and dedication it is going to take, as well as the financial side. i think it would be incredibly hard to adopt during this time, and potentially unfair on not only the adopted child but your own. What are you going to do for childcare?

My friend completed her social work degree last year and it seems like a difficult course.

[chan321]

Italiangreyhound, I do have an income, as mentioned in my post I work. I am also aware of the two year age gap, it's not something I'm planning on doing immediately but in the next year or so. My daughter goes to nursery and if I were to adopt then after adoption leave I would also put the child in nursery whilst working. I don't feel I NEED to be in my 20 ' s to adopt, I'd just like it that way.

[Italiangreyhound]

Ah, sorry I missed the bit where you mentioned work.

If this is for the future you may may not have any problems but depends how far into the future. If the situation was still you working part-time and studying part-time then I am not sure when you would have time for the children. As I said before most parents these days do work but work and study and a new adopted child and a birth child is an awful lot to take on single-handedly.

Also you say in the next year or so I am not sure your older child would be old enough to mean adoption agencies would be quite so keen, there are not that many one year olds for adoption at the moment. But I could be wrong, things are different in different areas.

I have no idea how difficult or time consuming the course is, or how long it will take to complete it but I do know that juggling the needs of a birth and adopted child can be quite hard as I have one of each and am just coming up for one year since our son joined our family.

You mentioned taking a year out and then returning to the course, in your shoes I would want to finish the course before pursuing adoption.

My friend was working and studying and was told to wait, I think, but it may vary where you are (she has now adopted).

Good luck. It is a good desire to want to adopt.

[fasparent]

There are numerous UK University's offering On line distance learning degrees in social work, could have best of both worlds following this route too HE Study.

[outthecupboard]

We were almost in a similar situation as I nearly went to study a 3 year degree. We didnt go ahead as the timing wasn't right for us but the studying bit was never an issue to social workers. Regards the age gap we pursued adoption when our birth daughter was approaching 2. We have since adopted and there is 17 months between our 2. I wish I'd done my course first in many ways although right now returning to work part time is going to be a real juggling act so at Least I don't have to give up my dream job. I'm only in my 20s too so will return to uni come hell or high water in a few years, once our lo has settled and we are comfortable with meeting her need. Good luck whatever you choose!

[Lilka]

Hi and welcome The majority of agencies will want your DD to be about 4 years old before you can start the process (some might say 3, or 5, but few are happy with a child aged younger than 3). Also right now there are fewer single children than there have been in a long time aged under 3 available for adoption (excepting children with significant needs). Some people are still being matched pretty quickly, but there are also a good group of prospective parents who have been approved for 12 months + and no link to a child in sight. What will happen in the next 3 years is anyone's guess, but right now is unfortunately not the best time there has ever been to be entering the process for people who aren't looking for hard to place children.

I am a single mum, and I applied when I was 29 (was 31 when I adopted my DD1). I found working very difficult, and I know that because of my DD's needs i wouldn't have managed to juggle a degree with parenting her. At least the nature of my job means I have relatively little extra work to do at home, unlike a degree or many other jobs. Not all adoptive parents have that experience, but it's worth really considering just how big an impact parenting a truamatised child can have on working and studying.

Given IME you aren't that likely to be accepted to start the process for about another 3.5 years (depending on where you live), I guess it makes sense to me to plan to start the process after your degree?

[Lilka]

2.5 years even

[iwishkidslikedtomatoes]

I have studied for a degree while working and I've adopted...not at the same time.

I'd would say wait for 3 reasons. ..

1. Do not underestimate how much time that degree will take up. The amount you have to read, the essays, the revision....many nights of working until the early hours

[iwishkidslikedtomatoes]

Sorry pressed send by mistake!!

But yes, I barely had time to see my friends and family for parts of the school year, it was incredibly rewarding but incredibly hard work and my husband described it as 'getting his wife back' once I'd finished.

1. The impact your degree will have on your birth child will be noticed, not to a detrimental effect if you make it so but if you then adopt at the same time, that is a further something that is impacting on the time you had for your only child and just adding a child to a family even without the extra needs adopted children have, means a lot of only children/first borns struggle to start with. You will be playing a delicate balancing act between them anyway but the two changes together may bring some resentment from your birth child, that may lay at the door of your adopted child, not your degree.

1. It's not just about getting an agency to assess you, that's just the first step, once approved, you then will be compared to the other adopters waiting, at the moment this can be 50-70 adopters for each child, where most will not be studying AND working and therefore you will less likely be chosen and may not find a match for some time (I say this not to be negative but for planning - you get approved but then wouldn't actually be able to plan which year to take out as you may not get chosen for a long time (I've got friends waiting 18months plus with birth children), this will make life difficult and add more stress you don't need).

I know you are very keen to do it in your 20's but 30 is still very young in adoption terms so I'd wait, but that's just me And I say this being a parent of an adopted child with little problems and knowing how hard that is, you want to make it as easy for yourself as you possibly can. On a very positive side if you apply after your degree, what you've studied may be very relevant and you will be able to explain the length of time you've been seriously considering this, which will make assessment easier for you.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, for both your degree and expanding your family

[drspouse]

DH was studying when we adopted, though I was working. It did mean he was a lot less flexible about taking adoption leave (paternity leave in his case).

I have also heard of single adopters adopting preschool children while working, they do not HAVE to be school age. But you are still quite young and as others have said 30 is young to adopt too.

[ChoccyJules]

Hi, you say you would 'put the child in nursery'. Given the emotional needs of many children needing adoption this may turn out not to be a viable option, at least for several months if not longer. It's something to bear in mind.