Adoption activity day

[sarahlux]

Our SW has invited us to an adoption activity day. Did anyone else go to one? Just wondering what they are like.

Thanks

[Kazza299]

We went to a local one from our LA, which was marvellous. Good ratio of children and adopters. Lots of space to play and interact.
We also went to a BAAF one which I didn't like at all. Soooo many adopters and, although quite a few, not enough children for all the adults so it felt very competitive. Heard people saying 'it's not fair, we didn't get to talk to him' and when you were interacting with a child there were 2 more people waiting behind you. Also, it was held in a big manor house with long corridors and activities in different rooms, so hard to navigate and not enough space to just sit and observe.
Can't imagine what it must have been like for the kiddies with all the adults pushing to talk to them. However, they all seemed very happy I must say.

[Velvet1973]

We went to one our LA did which was specifically younger children. It was very good. There were about 30 children but double the number of adopters so they split the adopters into 2 groups. We were shown a booklet of profiles of all the children before we went in so we knew which ones we really wanted to definitely spend time with. As it happens our lo was only 6 weeks old when the day was put on so he wasn't there but his profile was in the booklet. So we said we were interested from that, 4 months later he moved in!

[iwishkidslikedtomatoes]

We went to a BAAF one that was for all the LA's in our consortium.

You turned up, went into a room where you were told what to do and given a book of profiles. Then we went into the hall and played with the children and their foster carers, although spent half the time hanging around on sidelines waiting to play tbh. Staff very friendly. Felt for the foster carers too as a bit of an unusual situation for them.

There were way more adopters than children and it did feel competitive which I didn't like at all. Kids seemed to be having a ball though and unless of school age, I don't think they really had a clue what was going on, other than lots of people to play with them.

It's interesting to read a child's profile and actually meet them because some are quite different and things that may concern you on paper, just drift away when you meet them and with others things I might not have been concerned with on paper, I realised I would actually struggle to deal with. We went to our first one before even been to panel, so post that with matching the experience really helped us know what we were now looking for in a written profile, that was useful, so even though matches we followed up on from that day never came to anything, it was worth it. The hardest part is that if you do feel you make a connection and then aren't chosen, that is worse than feeling like you made a connection just with a profile on paper, or a video. This happened to us and my DH particularly struggled and I'm the over emotional one! Despite having a successful match (the perfect match! ) since, through our own LA, where they approached us as normal, the memories and emotions of that day and follow up from the day have stuck with me and are some of the hardest parts of our journey, looking back.

BUT if we adopted again....Would I want to attend another? not really tbh. Would I attend another? Yes, definitely. Because I believe in what's meant to be is meant to be and if you don't seek, then you may never find. Just prepare yourself emotionally for the experience and plan nothing for rest of day, you will need a relaxing rest of day to process it all. Though some other days mentioned above sound better!

If that sounds a bit too brutally honest and not too positive, sorry! I've read other stories where people have found their match and rate it as best experience ever and others who've gone and thought not much about it, having found no potential matches, so for you the experience maybe a very different one.

[blossom101001]

I absolutely agree with I WISH- but we found our match- made a inquiry that day and it was followed up and the boys came home months later...

[ShootingStarsinthesky]

I know this is a discussion from a few weeks ago but it really gives me hope at a time when I feel our journey will never end. We have been on this adoption journey for 3 years now, we had an introduction break down this time last year and only returned to panel a month ago. So pleased to hear there are children being matched and there is hope. Thank you.

[Desmoulinsonatable]

We have just been squeezed into one too. Is there any prep work that we could do? Also, if you have attended - how good were the other adopters costumes? Thank you!

[iwishkidslikedtomatoes]

We went half-hearted dressed up, rather than a whole costume (head gear and a couple of stuck on bits) At our one there were some people who had decided the mid-way approach was good too (about 50%), some who hadn't dressed up at all (about 20%) and some with really decent costumes (about 30 %). The BAAF staff were all in really good costumes. I would go all out but avoid covering up your face or anything that might seem scary, though that's pretty obvious I suppose! Those in the full costumes the children were obviously more drawn too and it is a good way to start a conversation with children and their foster carers I would also think their social workers will likely remember you more too, if there is a lot of interest in a particular child. I was the nervous one and didn't want to turn up and be the only one dressed up in full gear, I'd do it differently if I did it again

[iwishkidslikedtomatoes]

Oh and no prep work I can think of, just make sure you know where you're going to get there on time, so as not to be late for initial meeting and make sure the rest of the day is as relaxed for you as it can be, as emotionally you will likely be drained. Good luck at finding a possibly match

[Desmoulinsonatable]

Thank you I wish - I'm thinking one of the proto feminist Disney princesses.

[sarahlux]

Aww the fancy dress ones sound fab!!! I would love to do that...nothing like that has been mentioned by our social worker. I may have to check though as we don't want to be the only ones to turn up in jeans and tshirt

[blossom101001]

As for costumes my husband and I were the only ones who dressed up but it worked. Our son was dressed in the same costume as my husband and they instantly clicked.

[blossom101001]

Saralux-they usually have a theme

[Purplefrogeatsalily]

What a gorgeous story, blossom

[sarahlux]

That's lovely blossom.

[iwishkidslikedtomatoes]

That needs to make it into the life story book Blossom So nice