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Adopting with birth daughter

(6 Posts)
Stillyummy Tue 30-Dec-14 17:22:11

I am currently pregnant so this won't be happening for a while but I was wondering if anyone had adopted a child when they already had a birth child? If there were any issues with this, jealousy, who is most loved ect?

A bit of background, I conceived my daughter on clomid but it isn't an easy pregnancy (I am shore few are). I was on my last cyckle of clomid and had basically decided adoption was for me, I never really felt like I needed to be the biological mother of my children but I didn't want to upset my husband. Witch is rediculous as my husband was thinking the same but we didn't talk and well... Stupid!

My husband has already said he categorically could not do clomid again. I am an only child and always felt like I was missing out on a sibling, in fact I still do. So like I said very early but as one of life's planners I like to have things to mull over.

Italiangreyhound Tue 30-Dec-14 19:24:57

I have a ten year old birth dd and a 4 year old adopted son. It has not been easy as we have quite a lot of jealousy etc. But it is totally worth it.

My advice is to save up your money over the years so working too much is not too much of an issue, and use your time over coming years to understand the situation for adopted children and those in the care system.

I'd suggest you explore parenting in a more child-focussed/communication/positive parenting style for your birth child and you will find the transition to parenting a new adopted child will not be so difficult as it would be if you go down a very strict parent-focused route.

IMVHO.

Whatutalkinboutwillis Wed 31-Dec-14 10:30:57

Hi,

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I have a 7 year old bio ds and and 4 year old adopted ds. I won't say it is always easy but I can tell you those www boys love each other to death and would not be without each other.

Their bond came long before ours did with our new ds. I never expected it to go so well. They fight lots but hey that's brothers but those moments where I listen to them kiss each other goodnight or I watch ds1 teach ds2 something just melt my heart. I think we are very lucky as so far we have had no big problems.

Family's come in all shapes and sizes these days. I am so glad we adopted our son. Good luck to you

FamiliesShareGerms Wed 31-Dec-14 11:44:10

Another one here with an adopted and a bio child. I think it's becoming more common than previously

For us it has worked brilliantly and they are absolutely siblings who adore each other. I second the advice to use the next year or so to research adoption and whether it us right for you. As a general rule of thumb there has to be at least two years between any other child in the family and an adopted child joining the family, so you have a bit of time to work this through

Thebluedog Thu 01-Jan-15 08:17:48

My birth dd was 5 when I adopted my 20 month old dd, they recommend that there is at least a 3 year age gap.

There is jealousy but I'm told this is normal and would be the same if dd2 was a birth child. My dd1 was very much part of the process and knew what was happening and what to expect, and tbh I'm v thankful she's been really good about the whole thing.
She does sometimes say she she like having a sister as they are annoying smile

mineallmine Thu 01-Jan-15 20:03:29

My ds was 11 when we adopted our dd and it's been a total success. No jealousy at all but that may be because of the big age gap between them.

I agree hugely with Italian. Set yourself up financially so you can have as much time off as possible.

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