Honesty around jobs

[ShootingStarsinthesky]

I'm sure some of you will remember me my DH and we had a break down in Introductions in May of this year. Since then we have been attending courses and working very hard to satisfy our Adoption Team that we are ready to try again. We go to Panel at the end of February (as it is now a year since we were passed as Adopters) and then they will start the process of looking for us.

I have not worked properly since May but have been offered a job of 14.5 hours a week and am a bit torn about accepting it. I do need to work from the point of view of keeping me busy as I have now completed the a Parenting Course they suggested and worked in Nurseries etc but feel guilty that of course I won't be able to tell them from the outset that I may only be with them a matter of months. Of course it could be many months we just don't know. My DH thinks I should go for the job as I would be on a 6 month probation period anyway, but then he works in a pretty cut throat industry and mine is a more caring field. I would be required to give 4 weeks notice period of leaving.

The other difficulty I will have is that they will require me to have enhanced Police clearance for the job and I would have to explain I already have this ( because of the Adoption Process requiring it) and they might wonder and ask me why?

Any thoughts please???

[AdventuringAbout]

You would not need to explain that you already have a clearance, or why you might have one, to the best of my knowledge. I've had to do them for various public sector roles (when doing three part-time things that over-lapped a bit datewise) and I was never asked about existing DBA checks. There are any number of reasons you might already have one, such as voluntary work. It's totally your decision what you feel comfortable sharing, and of course what kind of commitment feels right to you relating to work.

It's good to read your update about all your positive progress. I hope your panel goes smoothly and you have a lovely Christmas.

[ShootingStarsinthesky]

Hi AdventuringAbout

I have in fact a DBA check going through at the moment as that needed to be updated as well so I guess I need to tell a new employer that and save them to cost of putting in for it again.

I understand that I do not need an employer about the adoption process until there is a match made with a child so they would have a bit of time between being told this, the matching panel and a date I would leave on.

[Maiyakat]

My experience with CRBs was that it didn't matter if you had one done last week with another organisation, the new organisation would still have to do it again. I have a collection of about 10 of the things! Not sure if it's different with DBA though.

Good luck with panel :o)

[Maiyakat]

Sorry that wasn't meant to be such a scary grin!

[Mrsmorton]

You need a new DBS check for every organisation you work with. I've got three ATM. I have never had to say whether I've got one whilst applying for another one. They are all "enhanced".

You have a lot of hoops to jump through don't you to do a very good thing.

[ShootingStarsinthesky]

Oh Ok so I will need to have another one done anyway, thank you for letting me know that.

Yes, Mrs Morton you do have to jump through hoops particularly if anything goes wrong in the process. I have learnt an awful lot though in the time I have had since May being involved with children and the Parenting Course I was lucky enough to be put on.

On the course we were asked to read a new book that has come out called "Why can't my child behave" I got it from Amazon and I cannot recommend it enough it talks about how with recent research they suggest that developmentally traumatised children need emphatic parenting rather than the everyday punishment/reward parenting birth children generally receive. Excellent. it is by a British Psychologist so not over generalised like so many American books I have read. Parents on our course who were experiencing difficulties used this method and found it generally very helpful.

We cannot wait to go back to panel and get the search for a child going again.

[Hels20]

Shooting - it took 4 months from seeing a picture of our son to intros starting...I would go for job.

Thank you for updating us too - I think you were incredibly brave to back out as you did and wish you lots of luck in your new search

[MaccaPaccaismyNemesis]

If you join the update service you can use the same DBS and only pay 13 pounds a year, an employer will need to see the original but can check online to check it is still valid.

[MaccaPaccaismyNemesis]

www.gov.uk/dbs-update-service

[Haffdonga]

Shooting (I'm taking form an HR perspective rather than an adoption specialist perspective here). Not to be negative, but you haven't yet been approved (this time) so nothing on paper is definite. I wouldn't expect a job candidate who is trying to conceive to tell me so. Nor would i expect someone to tell me that they might need an operation or that their partner is appying for a job in another country. Once the employee is pregnant, has the date for an operation or is relocating or is approved for adoption then it's only fair that they warn their employer.

Unfortunately, these days an employee has pretty much no rights if they haven't worked for an employer for less than a year. (Your employer could decide to get rid of you for no reason other than they feel like it.) It has to work both ways. You are also free to leave, no hard feelings, if things suddenly happen very quickly for you.

Go for the job, It sounds perfect for you. And how lovely it would be to have to leave quickly if matching happens fast.

[Italiangreyhound]

Good luck ShootingStarsinthesky and hope the job interview goes well.

[ShootingStarsinthesky]

Thank you everyone for your input you have been a tower of strength over a very difficult year. I promise I will keep you up to date when we have some good news too. Good luck to all in 2015 x

[FamiliesShareGerms]

I'd go for the job too

Good luck