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Confused ...

(10 Posts)
CloserThanYesterday Fri 12-Dec-14 07:46:40

We were matched a few weeks back with a little one, but there was still an appeal going on so we knew there would be a delay before intros could start.
At the time we were under the impression that this appeal was the 'last stop' but it now appears another appeal request has been put into one of the lower courts.
I'm so confused as to how these permissions to appeal can keep going in, being rejected, going to a higher court, going back to a lower court for a different appeal, and so on ... Isn't there a point where somebody says, 'right, that's enough'?
Permission to place has been requested from a judge but so far silence has been the stern reply.
We're getting really worried that this might never happen for us, especially in view of the fact that more and more decisions seem to be going in favour of birth families.

AdventuringAbout Fri 12-Dec-14 19:59:14

That sounds horrendous. What an impossible situation to put you in; I am pretty appalled that you can be formally matched by the panel and ADM, when there are ongoing lodged appeals. It leaves you feeling comitted, but just hanging. Surely there is no benefit to that for anyone.

When you say the judge has not responded, is that in relation to the appeal you knew about, or is that one over? I agree with you, it sounds very odd that more appeals keep coming out of the woodwork, and possibly as though the LA has missed something in its preparation?

I don't actually think more and more decisions are going in favour of birth families, though it may feel like it from the media coverage lately. There is a really good leaflet on this on the Adoption UK website, where they asked a QC to evaluate the recent cases and impact.

Could you ask for a meeting with the legal advisor from the LA, to get them to fully explain the situation to you so you know where you stand? You may then decide you need an independent legal opinion, but it would be a place to start flowers

CloserThanYesterday Fri 12-Dec-14 21:04:58

Thanks for the reply, adventuring. You're right, there probably hasn't been any more decisions going in favour of birth families - we're probably looking for the ones that do at the moment, trying to second guess everything.
To be fair to the LA, I think they genuinely expected everything to be sorted by now and we're confident that they are doing all they can, but it doesn't stop us worrying!
Thankyou for the advice - we'll ask if we can speak to the legal advisor and find out how this all works.

CloserThanYesterday Fri 12-Dec-14 21:08:06

The judge has been asked to give permission for the little one to be placed, even though there is an appeal lodged. Apparently they can do that!

2old2beamum Fri 12-Dec-14 21:22:22

I know the child must come first but you have feelings too! Having adopted 8 am so glad we have never experienced this! Good luck XX

Velvet1973 Fri 12-Dec-14 22:15:24

Hi closer we're in a similar situation in that we were expecting to foster to adopt lo and then la wanted to wait for irh to get a better feel then final hearing for placement order. We thought that would be it but the case wasn't concluded so waiting again. We've been told if it does go through it will almost certainly be contested. We're still hoping po will be granted next week and lo will move to us whilst any appeals etc go on. We've been waiting 3 1/2 months so far. It's been a really tough roller coaster of emotions but we just have to keep believing it will all be worth it.

CloserThanYesterday Fri 12-Dec-14 22:32:26

That's exactly what we're doing velvet, keeping one eye on that point in the future when we'll look back and think 'what a shit time, but look how happy we are now'.
The trouble is, in the midst of all this the adopters are right at the bottom of the pile when it comes to consideration. We all get why, but it doesn't make it any easier.

CloserThanYesterday Fri 12-Dec-14 22:34:28

I hope your little one is home with you soon velvet.

Velvet1973 Fri 12-Dec-14 23:43:55

Thanks closer, you too.
I think this process has made me even more passionate about the rights of these children because they're always second to those of the birth parents no matter what the situation.

MyDogEatsBalloons Sat 13-Dec-14 14:21:21

We were held up by the BM appealing as well; even though there were really no grounds to the appeal. We ended up having intros seven months after seeing the profile. Hang on in there, I know the waiting is dreadful, but you'll get there eventually!

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