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Tips from those who might have been here and founds ways to deals with a few minor issues.

(10 Posts)
Bringonthesunshineplease Mon 08-Dec-14 10:05:54

We are getting close to 3 months with our siblings and loving it :-). Overall we have had a smooth transition without as many issues as we had anticipated so far.

Both children have unfortunately due to past experiences no ability to limit how much they eat and we need to do this for them by giving lots of healthy options. To avoid control battles we let them serve themselves things like cut up fruit and vegetables but have limited how much there is to get so we are in overall control as otherwise they would not stop. They both eat incredibly fast and literally shovel food in as if its the last time they will be fed. Any suggestions on how to encourage them to slow down?

Also both (2 and an old 3 year old) are picky with everything's. Noses, sores, cuticles, stickers, labels, wall paper etc. Any advice on positive ways to get them to stop (she ask's in hope but suspects it may be impossible hmm. Finger nails kept as short as possible including using a nail file on them but they seem to find a way.

Anyway suggestions, tips and advice from those who have had similar experience of helping children who have experience severe neglect with this type of this would be gratefully received.

Themoleandcrew Mon 08-Dec-14 16:15:19

Ours were 2/3 when they moved in and were like yours with the food thing. They seemed to be impossible to fill up. We gave them lots of healthy food and eventually they slowed down. It was after about 9 months (so recently) that we suddenly realised they they were eating more slowly and, shock horror, actually leaving food on the plate. Maybe they just finally realised that there is always food available of they want it so don't feel the need to stuff every morsel they can get their hands on. Mind you , they have recently become obsessed with chocolate and sweets so we have stopped having treats in the house.

TrinnyandSatsuma Mon 08-Dec-14 19:19:30

No idea if this will work as a link, but this is a thread I posted a few months ago. We have found the ignoring fast eating works for us. We encourage lots of conversation, occasionally the odd thing on the table to distract him and by praising pauses in the fast shovelling of food.

Hope the link might help a bit.

Italiangreyhound Mon 08-Dec-14 22:47:25

hey Sunshine good luck with this and try not worry, as they may pick up on your stress.

Any suggestions on how to encourage them to slow down?

Google mindful eating and mindful eating for children.

This is fab, it's the basics

I've done a few things like mindfully eating a raisin or mindfully eating a Maltesers. This is as an adult with eating disorder.

mindful eating is fun and can be presented a game. You take your small food item, feel it, smell it, describe it (limited language so nice, fruity, chocolatey etc) put it on your tongue, taste it, let Maltesers dissolved, chew raisin etc etc. We also did a thing at church where kids got to eat chocolate buttons by letting them dissolve on their tongue, we timed the kids. It was also fun.

The trick (as I am someone who eats too much) is to enjoy what you have now without wanting to move instantly on to the next thing. I say trick because as time goes and kids eat slower they will taste the food more, feel fuller and know when full and be able to stop.

I never encourage my kids to finish up their food, I just encourage some healthy eating like some veg with dinner.

I do not belittle choices, this is hard as we are trained to belittle kids choices for some things, and really encourage healthy eating and it is a fine balance because too much emphasise on healthy eating might mean they go the other way.

The top pick when I googled 'Mindful eating for kids' was Summer Family 2013 patient care handout - The Center for Mindful eating..... worth a look.

Take a look, there is stuff about curiosity making kids interested in every aspect of eating. So you could develop some ideas around that. If they can resist the uncooked cake mix/batter for long enough to bake into cakes they can a) decorate them b) eat them - in limited amounts of course c) give them as gifts to grandma or next door neighbours etc

Work up to it, small amounts, healthy food, maybe fruit pie or fruit flan is healthier than cakes, i am not sure, do small amounts and lots of praise when they are able to resist food or wait. Maybe grandma could send a special card or gift in return for the cakes, showing the kids that eating less themselves means more to share!

This is all amateur ideas from a person with an eating disorder. Luckily my kids (nothing to do with me) eat very healthily!

Good luck.

RaisingSteam Mon 08-Dec-14 22:59:17

I think the picking will gradually lessen as they become more settled. 3 months is waaaay early days smile If they're still doing it as badly in two years, may be different! It's maybe some sort of sensory issue, as a way of comforting or distracting from distress (like a caged animal). Can they have something (safe) to fiddle with or suck like a little teddy or muslin? Or give them a little reassuring cuddle and do something to occupy their hands like sing an action song?

It takes a long time for little ones instincts to catch up with their new, safe circumstances so do perservere, you are doing the right things.

Italiangreyhound Tue 09-Dec-14 09:24:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Italiangreyhound Tue 09-Dec-14 09:26:01

Oopse, sorry that is on the wrong thread, I have reported it. Sorry.

Kewcumber Tue 09-Dec-14 16:44:02

You should read Trinnys link because I think I said everything I could think of then (DS did this and ate until he was sick everyday for months) and I'm just too lazy to retype it all!

Bringonthesunshineplease Tue 09-Dec-14 19:46:02

Thanks heaps for all the advise and suggestions!!! Much appreciated and and helpful!

Kewcumber Tue 09-Dec-14 19:47:04

I feel really bad now that I'm too lazy to retype it all! blush

In my defence I have sinusitis.

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