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Meeting foster carers tomorrow.........what do we ask?

(13 Posts)
Daisiemoo Fri 28-Nov-14 20:04:35

Hi all, it's been a long time coming.... We finally have a date to meet with the foster carers!
Please help, brain freeze has set in and I'm terrified we will turn up there with blank looks on our faces!
What are normal questions to ask?
Thanks! ��

UnderTheNameOfSanders Fri 28-Nov-14 20:56:19

Is this
A) prior to matching panel as part of your decision making
B) just before intros.

I'll assume A.

You need to ask stuff that may affect your decision to proceed.

- what is behaviour like day to day
- how bad are the worst tantrums / behaviour and how often
- if there are any medical issues or concerns, then how are they day to day, and how are they managed
- what is eating like
- if there is any hint of 'glossing over' in their report then dig in to it, e.g. 'needs firm boundaries' 'needs parents with lots of energy' 'can become upset if ...' 'likes to be independent ...'

(If B then just stuff about routine, food likes and dislikes, washing powder, what clothes and posessions they come with etc)

GirlsWhoWearGlasses Fri 28-Nov-14 20:59:32

Routine, food, favourite anything, washing powder, first everything. Anything that will smooth the transition or help fill pieces of the jigsaw later.

Congrats grin

Daisiemoo Fri 28-Nov-14 21:18:05

Thanks Under it is A!
We've pretty much decided and we have a date for matching panel, so just want to get a feel for LO as it's difficult to gauge from report.
Feeling really nervous and excited so fingers crossed for tomorrow!!

UnderTheNameOfSanders Fri 28-Nov-14 21:24:07

Hope it goes well.

Jameme Fri 28-Nov-14 22:02:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dimples76 Fri 28-Nov-14 22:06:04

Good luck!

I was really nervous beforehand too. I had loads of questions but did not really need to ask them as I started off with something very open - something like I just want to learn more about him from the people who know him best and then they were off! I then just had a few extra questions about things which they hadn't mentioned, e.g. their perceptions of BPs, what he is like with other children. It was actually a really lovely experience.

Off to Matching Panel on Wednesday and the fear is back big time!

Daisiemoo Fri 28-Nov-14 22:54:57

Omg Dimples...... Good luck for Wednesday xx

Italiangreyhound Fri 28-Nov-14 22:59:45

Daisiemoo congratulations. If I were you I would concentrate on getting along with foster carers, just ask very open ended questions as dimples suggest and get a feel for little one.

Lots of things will be covered during intros and if you and foster carers have a good rapport you will be able to communicate and find things out later as well.

I asked if I could leave my mobile number and email and take a contact for Foster carer, she was happy for this and before ds moved in we texted back and forth as I found out all kind of useful tip bits about ds.

I would let foster carer take the lead, she may have some photos to show you etc. If it is in the house your child lives in, as it was for us, we saw his room, teddies and books and it was fabulous! If it had been at our house we could have shown his future room etc and photos of our birth dd.

Had it been a neutral location I think I would have still taken a few photos, our dd, our cat etc and just tried get as much info but also while building a good rapport with foster carer and letting them take the lead.

Good luck.

Italiangreyhound Sat 29-Nov-14 20:13:37

How did it go?

Daisiemoo Sun 30-Nov-14 08:48:05

Hi Italian it went really well. The FC was lovely, just sat and told me everything. Got to see the bedroom, toys etc and we talked about the plan for after matching panel. Then I got in the car and cried lol! Now it's more waiting for panel, then Xmas to be over and then it's intros eeeek!

Italiangreyhound Sun 30-Nov-14 19:54:35

Yay Daisiemoo great news. grin

dimples76 Sun 30-Nov-14 21:35:23

Excellent! Good luck at panel

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