I have a friend with a dd who was adopted from o'seas 12/13 yrs ago (dd is now 15). Dfriend divorced and moved 6 hr flight from xh (dd sees him for a week or so a year). Dfriend is an alcoholic that has recently relapsed, now back in recovery. Dd (and dfriend) hugely struggling with this. Dd is on/off needing time away from dmum. Relationship is v strained. Dd has posited going to live with dad. Dad has always said she can't live with him. Mum appears ambivalent at best and believes she is crap parent, and is willing to let dd go. Has this evening emailed xh and suggested dd move there. (He has new family with wife and 5yo DS)
Is there anything I can do? I am terrified that this poor kid is essentially going to be abandoned by the pair of them. Or feel like it, anyway. She knows she is welcome here (she fled here when friend admitted relapsing - is a friend of my dd) so has a safe space currently if she needs it, but I don't want to see her get more hurt... The last thing she needs is to feel completely unwanted.
I don't want to butt my nose in, but am more worried about the dd than my friend at the mo. Friend has essentially swallowed the 12 step program and is going the complete honesty route, complete with 'recovery is very selfish' and claims to know lots of alcoholics whose family left because they couldn't handle it. She has MH and anxiety issues.
What do I do about this kiddo? Anything? Butt out?
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10 replies
madwomanbackintheattic · 28/11/2014 05:12
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