Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.
Unsure what to do...(13 Posts)
Thought I would see what the sages on here thought we should do. Our baby has been home for over two months. He is crawling and is getting closer to walking and loves to climb/explore so despite our best efforts at baby proofing and our eagle eyes he gets the odd bump and bruise. About three weeks ago, he slipped from standing and scratched his face on the corner of the skirting board. He didn't bump his head and stopped crying the minute I gave him a cuddle. The HV visited later that afternoon and we pointed it out to her, she had no issues/concerns. Our sw (VA) visited two days later, noted the scratch, we told her what happened and we had a generic discussion about a healthy balance between keeping a child safe and letting them explore/learn, but no concerns.
Five days later (so a week after it happened) our sw called us to ask us if we had reported it to Bub's sw. I said I had not but I would email that day as we were not seeing her for a while, which I did a couple of hours later. Three hours after this I received another call from my sw saying we should take him to A&E. We pointed out that the scratch had happened a week ago, there had been no bang to the head and the scratch had disappeared but we were told to go anyway which we did. A&E were lovely and did a little report.
Our sw then called a couple of days later to "clear the air" as we seemed annoyed- well, yes, it was not in our son's best interests to be dragged to A&E in the evening, it was about the adults involved arse covering. We also pointed out that if we had got it so wrong by not taking him, surely she should have told us this the day of her visit. She said she had been distracted by how cute he was (!) and then essentially blamed her manager. We just chalked it up to the profession desperately arse covering given how they are slated in the press when anything goes wrong and perhaps wanting to protect us and despite our irritation to forget it, we had the report from A&E, all is sorted.
We have just spoken to our son's sw who thinks the whole thing is a nonsense, has no concerns and spoke to our son's FC (we had contact last week) who said we had told her and she would not have taken him to A&E for something so minor. As far as our son's sw is concerned it is case closed. However, she did say our sw had contacted her (not sure when) and told her the "injury" was a lot more serious than we were making out. Our son's sw told her she had no concerns and told her if she did, she should follow them up.
We are absolutely shell shocked. We have always had a good relationship with our sw and simply do not understand why she would suggest to our son's sw we would trivialise an injury which is such a serious accusation! I cannot see how this can reflect well on her, if it was so serious then surely he should have gone to A&E the day of her visit! We are concerned as to the impact (if any) this will have on our application for an Adoption Order and what exactly has been documented about us at our agency, particularly as we might want to adopt again one day.
Sorry about the mass ramble, does anyone have any experience of this sort of thing? We are thinking or requesting a meeting- do we have any right to see our records?
This does sound like
arse covering very unprofessional behaviour
I'd email your SW manager setting out a simple summary of what happened; what you were advised and when; and your concerns. I would say these are that it has been suggested that you sought to minimise the accident, and deliberately failed to seek medical advice. You recognise that this is a very serious allegation, and therefore seek assurance that this is not what SW suspect and that there is no record of this concern. If there is, request a formal meeting.
You are entitled to make a Subject Access Request to receive records and info held on you, if it comes to it.
Ps is DS very cute?
Thanks, FWSG. To be honest, he is so cute it is just ridiculous
I agree, Email the manager. This really is outrageous, especially as a HV visited your son on the day it happened! I would mention this in the email also, as it implies that this SW thinks little of the professionalism of the HV. The HV writes up any visits made, this will clearly be in their notes also and if this 'wound' was as 'serious' as what the SW implied then it would be the HV's Job to inform SS/police etc!
I have not heard of anything so ridiculous in all my life!!! I agree contact her boss and don't forget to mention the HV! Could you even get a statement from the HV first?
I thought sws were over worked!!
WOULD on your own account start a daily diary log, as FC's are required too do, also be nice too read in years too come anyway, but would be good documentive evidence too produce as and if required.
Would not worry though.
Just was read this ...and am open mouthed. How utterly ridiculous. Poor you. I would be livid,
Yep, thanks guys. If anything I feel worse this morning. I have this gnawing anxiety and I just don't trust our agency or sw any more. We are meant to be going to Court today to file our application for the AO but I am now terrified that our agency is going to file a bad report about us or something. I thought that this had been resolved (and that is certainly what our sw said to us) but after what our son's sw said yesterday about our sw suggesting the "injury" was a lot more serious than we had made out I am now worried.
That's awful Barbados, completely ridiculous . Is there anyway you could express your concerns to your boys SW? Gosh if we had had to report every grazed knee our LO had pre AO we would have been ringing every week. I really hope that this hasn't affected your application, I'm largely sure it won't but that doesn't stop you worrying does it?
Thinking of you, x
Very lucky the HV visited (please get her to write a few lines about this) and also the fact the sw didn't think you should take him to A and E when she visited and only mentioned it a week later. She sounds awful. What kind of person would do that. The fact your dc's sw thinks it is nothing is the main thing.
Please don't let this interrupt your bonding with ds
Thanks, guys. He has given me some of his best grins today so am trying to enjoy those! X
* Barbadosgirl* I can't give any advice but have to say that a 'professional' social worker who is distracted by a cute baby sounds like some sort of pantomime character! Ridiculous!
Hope you are feeling better Barbados. I was thinking about this post today a bit and remembering when I called my DS's SW in panic because he had fallen, when running around, and I was worried that he might have broken his arm and she was so calm and just said to "monitor" the situation and take him to A&E if he was still clutching it a couple of hours later - of course, it wasn't broken, and she just said that children are always falling over.
So thankful I had her to deal with, rather than your nightmare.
But it is only ONE person being ridiculous. Any other person would see the scratch for what it is/was!
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.