Talk

Advanced search

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Feeling undersold.

(14 Posts)
lookingforsunshine Wed 29-Oct-14 17:36:25

In our 'mini PAR report' (the flyer about us) our sw has written that we have 'very little childcare experience but have made real efforts to increase this over course of the assessment'. I don't feel this is fair. I worked for 6 years in education...with children aged 5-19, did voluntary work at a rainbow group for a year, have done absolutely load of babysitting/ childminding for family since I was young...including 2 summers looking after 4 young cousins all summer and I've worked on camp america 3 times. What do people think? I tried to challenge sw but she said that they write this as a matter of course if someone doesn't have kids. Personally I think a sentence saying " Despite not having their own children, X does have significant experience with children through both paid employment and voluntary work". What do others think?? Admittedly my other half has little experience but I will be main carer. Maybe she should write separate paragraphs about us both...

FamiliesShareGerms Wed 29-Oct-14 17:41:11

It does sound as if you are being sold short, yes.

FamiliesShareGerms Wed 29-Oct-14 17:41:43

And separate paras sounds like a good way to address this - you are still separate people, after all

lookingforsunshine Wed 29-Oct-14 18:55:26

Thanks FamiliesShareGerms, now here's the tricky bit.... we actually went to panel some months ago. We were shown draft PAR at time and I did make a point of asking various bits to be changed, SW was very defensive, I gave up in the end. Didn't dare complain as didn't want to look like a trouble-maker/ didn't want to get on wrong side of sw. Was promised children by xmas, this won't happen now/ no children on horizon (understand this is linked to lack of children coming through due to b-s case). Now I feel like mentioning my concerns about our PAR...as it could be impacting upon our chances of getting picked. Any thoughts anyone? Thanks in advance.

Italiangreyhound Wed 29-Oct-14 21:52:26

I'd mention it to your social worker again. We had a change of social worker after panel so you may also have a new one now. If you do fab if not I would still say that you would like this addressed, in the nicest possible way. If you have been approved over three months ago you can go on the National Register for England and Wales.

Good luck.

sscott1967 Wed 29-Oct-14 22:27:37

Smiley face: smile

sscott1967 Wed 29-Oct-14 22:29:27

hello

Toucanet Wed 29-Oct-14 23:28:46

Good luck. Definitely sound undersold to me. You have absolutely loads of experience in my eyes. Agree worth politely raising it again, whether new or old sw. To say they automatically put that when someone doesn't have kids can't be good practice, makes it pretty meaningless doesn't it. (I'm pg (after 2 mmcs) & fingers crossed will have a DC next year but have never changed a nappy, childminded, not babysat for 20+ years etc). As soon as/if I have one will I have more experience than you? Obviously not for several years! It seems really unfair to diminish your experience like that. Fingers crossed for you.

lookingforsunshine Thu 30-Oct-14 08:28:08

Thanks everyone. Really helpful. Is it possible for a PAR to be changed after panel?? No, we are not getting a new social worker, that's very clear from what we have been told. Has anyone ever asked for a new one? If so, would love to know how that went...
We are already on adoption register, we are with a charity, so went on it almost immediately.
Thank you.

Maiyakat Thu 30-Oct-14 10:00:45

I would ask your SW to change the 'mini PAR' to what you've said - if she won't contact her manager and explain why. I found my DD through my 'mini PAR' being sent out to LAs so it is really important. As for the main PAR, unfortunately I don't think it can be changed after panel as that is what the panel have approved you on.

Have you been able to access exchange days or activity days? They're listed on the BAAF website, so if your SW is not being very proactive you can find them and ask her to refer you.

Good luck - I found matching the hardest part

lookingforsunshine Thu 30-Oct-14 10:22:33

Yes, we have attended several exchange days/ activity days-our sw is proactive she just seems to undersell us/ don't think she has faith in us. She gives the impression at every opportunity that she doesn't really have faith in us. Thanks for your help.

MyDogEatsBalloons Thu 30-Oct-14 19:35:56

Our SW was happy for us to write a 'flyer' ourselves, though it turned out we didn't need it in the end. I think they're definitely selling you short - you have absolutely tons of experience!

lookingforsunshine Fri 31-Oct-14 09:21:40

Thanks everyone.

KristinaM Mon 03-Nov-14 17:56:02

" very little childcare experience " appears to be factually inaccurate in your case.

Nothing should be written " as a matter of course " . Each assessment should be individual

Ask for the flyer to be "updated" as it must have been written about 6 months ago now .

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now