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He's fine....

(4 Posts)
Buster51 Thu 22-May-14 09:28:42

Must be one of my biggest pet hates! Our DS (5) is a 'coper' he gets on with things, he doesn't cry and doesn't say when he's worried, scared, upset....therefore I've learnt to read between the lines. So when people around me (teachers, family, friends etc) 'he's fine' YES the majority of the time he is a happy little boy, but I can TELL when he's anxious!

Take for example his breakfast clubs, I know he enjoys these as he loves playing with his friends, but they do what's called 'active breakfast' - all of the children join in with this, DS just wont. Which is fine but I often leave him just stood there on his own sad I once tried to take him through myself to join in and was told I couldn't! They took his hand and wandered off! He needs his 'hand held' so to speak before he will just join in with anything like this. Therefore I've had to call the school to ensure they do this with him!

But then I just get from them 'hes fine' etc etc doubt he settles after I'm gone, but what if he's like that the whole time and seems to be fine when he's not!?

Sorry I am just on a rant this morning as I get so so fed up of people just saying he is FINE all of the time! I can even tell in his speech/mannerisms etc when he's anxious, people just think I'm an over stressing, worrying mum! :S

Italiangreyhound Thu 22-May-14 09:49:11

Frustrating isn't it. DD has always been pretty quirky and I have had huge battles with a relative about how I should handle her/treat her/cope.

odyssey2001 Thu 22-May-14 12:20:10

We have this with LO's doctor and some family members, who just don't always get it.

fasparent Thu 22-May-14 17:23:09

Tend too agree, some children have deep routed experience of trauma,
neglect, decisions made by courts and professional' for them in their very early life's which are not always in their best interest , they have no say in these matters due too their age.
Some will not relate too officials except with politeness. Hence I am OK. she is all right. Parent's will know their children best , you are quite right buster you are not over reacting.
Our dd is one such casualty, she will confide in No one except DH can not say details , except will be a life long. But is happy and intellegent , even with her underlying problems. , which surface now and then, usual with more unknown revelations of her early childhood from the age of two.

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