Advanced search

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

How clean?

(58 Posts)
nervouslurker Sun 18-May-14 22:17:17

So, home visit this week- I'm right at the start. I've seen people joking on here about biscuits etc. So, a) chocolate hob nobs? Everyone loves those, right? Or should it be home made victoria sponge? And b) how clean does the house need to be? I'm assuming the fact that the homework table will have homework piled on it, etc is okay? Will the SW want a tour of the house at this stage? I use a floordrobe, do I need to madly sort this?

Sorry if this is annoying, and you have hundreds of threads on this- could you point me in their direction? Thanks.

Devora Mon 19-May-14 18:46:21

Mutley, don't lie. You KNOW you don't eat the biscuits - it would make you feel beholden. And as we all know, this is About The Children.

But one has to provide the biscuits as an act of deference and also to show that we're motherly-type feeders.

nervouslurker, good luck! Hide any soft porn (one couple I came across insisted on their human right to keep it displayed) and make your house SMELL nice. But mainly focus on getting you, not your house, into the right state of mind: alert, but calm.

You'll be fine!

nervouslurker Mon 19-May-14 19:30:54

Well, the pyrolitic oven clean was a really bad idea, then. The house now stinks of burning oven stuff smoke. Ooops.

Haha at the soft porn. I'm hiding any overt religious stuff!

Kewcumber Mon 19-May-14 19:39:40

Hide any soft porn my Devora - I've never actually thought to adivse would be adopters to do that. I'll add it to my list.

Who was it, I'm sure it was someone on here, who already had a young child who showed the social worker out to the door carrying said child and bashed their head on the door frame not once but TWICE!!!!

Maryz Mon 19-May-14 19:45:37

She's a single parent WOTH. I bet she has no time for porn, soft or otherwise grin

or for sex for that matter

The smell of burning cake will drown out the smell of burning oven tomorrow, or you can always have fish for tea grin

nervouslurker Mon 19-May-14 19:48:08

If I time/opportunity for sex, I wouldn't be adopting! wink


RhinosAreFatUnicorns Mon 19-May-14 19:49:53

I'm afraid I committed the cardinal sin. I did not offer biscuits, not once shock Having only found MN after DD arrived I was unaware of the etiquette. I made her lots of cups of coffee though (and she didn't appear to hold it against us!)

Maryz Mon 19-May-14 19:50:35

You do know they are going to ask you about that, don't you? Ask Kew about her embarrassing lack of sex conversation.

nervouslurker Mon 19-May-14 19:56:56

I have no coffee! None! Not a drop! shock

I have some Camp Coffee in the cupboard somewhere...

Kewcumber Mon 19-May-14 20:26:11

Oh god no not the sex convo!

nervouslurker Mon 19-May-14 21:09:50

Are any of you religious? Did you leave any evidence of this around the house? Looking about, I'm surprised how much evidence there is! I was presuming I need to play down my faith? (I'm the sort who supports equal marriage etc. I'm a single mum, FFS, I'm obviously not a fundamentalist!)

I'll stop panicking soon.

FamiliesShareGerms Mon 19-May-14 21:10:08

Our SW did eat the home baking (and asked for the recipes) <preen>. But never drank a drop...

I like the Aged Aunt rule of thumb

I think the sex convo might come a few visits in smile

Maryz Mon 19-May-14 21:17:36

I suspect we had a bible or two.

I think bleeding heart statues or shrines on your tv might be a step too far though.

Relax, she's just getting a first look at you; there will be many more meetings to come for you to stress over

HappySunflower Mon 19-May-14 21:19:43

I have a strong faith. I don't think that's very obvious from coming to our home, but I do have quite a few books on the bookshelves and a few pictures with scripture on them dotted around. I didn't hide any of it, and was happy to talk about it when asked, which was a very good thing as my sw was very interested in how my faith might influence or shape the way I parented.

prumarth Mon 19-May-14 22:11:36

On our first visit, we were asked if we kept porn or weapons on open display (we don't!). My jaw dropped. The next question was did we have a lock on the fridge and the distance between our banister railings. We were very confused about what might come up on visit 2!
I agree on dark chocolate digestives - she doesn't eat them but we fall on them when she leaves and scoff the lot as a release from all the anxiety. Then we put the hand grenades back on the fireplace grin

Maryz Mon 19-May-14 22:22:31

weapons or porn? Do they really have to ask?

I mean, what's the answer to that "yes, we usually have a loaded shotgun in the umbrella rack, but we put it away today in case it upset you".


MyFeetAreCold Mon 19-May-14 22:56:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryz Mon 19-May-14 22:58:50

Oh God yes shock

How could I forget.

ds1 showed them our recycling box when we were being assessed for dd. He showed them by pulling it out from where we had hidden it in a cupboard - an entire box of empty wine bottles blush.

Luckily she laughed.

Nonnimouse Tue 20-May-14 19:03:20

Oh this thread is just priceless!
Yes I have always found the "going crazy cleaning" posts made me nervous, with 4 children in the house it is NOT going to be tidy. (At least not MY house!) We go crazy a couple of days before sw visits and aim for "lived in" rather than "omg have you been burgled?!" It has been ok so far.
Yeah and in one visit my dog was so happy to see the sw it did an excited little pee, and another visit my toddler tried to run after us, tripped and got her first ever bloody nose. Good times.

Italiangreyhound Tue 20-May-14 20:28:32

SORRY BUT - you are all wrong [[ is what you must eat]]

Italiangreyhound Tue 20-May-14 20:29:11

Oopse, that went wrong! I meant this

Italiangreyhound Tue 20-May-14 20:33:36

I am 'religious', well a Christian nervouslurker. We had a picture frame and a wall hanging with a Bible verse on each, nothing too scary! Plus a gorgeous picture of Jesus washing the disciples feet.

On the first day I wore a pink shirt and realised I had a 'Jesus is the key' broach on the lapel!! ha ha, they still let me in.

We do have Bibles on the bookshelf but also a lot of cook books and I am no great cook so I don't think anything in our house was very 'worrying'! I am also very keen on equal marriage and had my place as a member of Accepting Evangelicals in case that question popped up!

Good luck, nervouslurker, when is it.

Italiangreyhound Tue 20-May-14 20:34:37

PS after I was told to lose weight I stopped bringing out he biscuits and started brandishing the fruit bowl!

Italiangreyhound Tue 20-May-14 20:38:43

My lapel badge saying Jesys is the key was tiny. Somewhat like this my lapel badge and very small tiny

So social worker would almost have had to be sitting on my lap to have been 'offended' by it!

Maryz Tue 20-May-14 20:41:57

That's a bit posh, Italian shock Forrin and dark chocolate, most superior.

It must be the reason they gave you such a special, wonderful, gorgeous child grin - they keep the nice ones for the people with special biscuits.

KneesoftheBee Tue 20-May-14 20:50:56

Italian your link made me smile. I used to administer adoption panels and had to keep panel members happy with the biscuits (jaffa cakes always went down well <taps nose>).

One day I decided to treat them to those Choco-Liebnez biscuits. Unfortunately, it was a warm day and the chocolate melts very quickly. It got quite messy grin

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now