Advanced search

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

15,000 Kids and Counting - Episode 2

(275 Posts)
Lilka Thu 10-Apr-14 14:14:59

Tonight at 9.00 on Channel 4

The Search
This episode follows the search for adoptive parents for a two-year-old boy and a three and seven-year-old brother and sister

With the added challenges of having slightly older children, siblings and a child with possible health issues to place, the task for social workers Annette and Jackie is a massive one

With the future of these children in their hands and recently set government targets to meet, they struggle not to become emotionally involved as they strive to find adopters before time runs out

candycoatedwaterdrops Thu 10-Apr-14 14:18:37

Thank you for this thread, Lilka. I'm out tonight but will watch later (maybe tomorrow) and join in with you. I hope this one will be as balanced as last week's show.

Fusedog Thu 10-Apr-14 14:43:07

Really looking for ward to this

NanaNina Thu 10-Apr-14 14:52:02

I hope they don't try placing the 3 of them together, not because sibs shouldn't stay together - of course they should, but sibling groups of 3 or more are a real challenge to adopters as all the children will have difficulties of one kind or another, both because of their pre placement experiences and having to move from the foster carers.

SWs are meant to consider the bonding between the sibs and try to place the ones closest to each other, but age is an even more important issue - sad but true. On the face of it, the 2 and 3 year old could maybe be placed together. Sadly this means the 7 year old (especially if it's a boy and is the one with health problems) might not be able to be placed for adoption.

I think the other thing is that permanent foster carers for middle years aged children who haven't been matched with adopters, are as rare as hen's teeth, and so these children tend to be passed around short term foster carers. Sometimes a family who are short term carers for a child and the plan is for permanency via adoption, will consider adopting the child, or permanently fostering the child, and the outcomes for these children are very good for obvious reasons really.

The other thing is that LAs are always pushing people who might consider permanent fostering to apply for a Special Guardianship Order (SGO) because this is just one step away from adoption and gives the carers more or less full parental responsibility (PR) This can work well if the family don't want social workers involved, as with this Order the PR transfers to the carers and not the LA. The one big problem is funding because fostering allowances are mandatory whereas SGO allowances are discretionary, but I hear from others in this position that they insist that they could only care for the specific child with the equivalent of the fostering allowance and this can be written into the court papers and agreed by the Judge. There is still a saving for the LA as they are no longer involved.

Lilka Thu 10-Apr-14 15:16:19

They aren't a sibling group of 3, the 3 and 7 year old are a brother and sister group of 2, and the 2 year old is a different case entirely.

I just hope they are sensitive and do not do what I felt the "Finding Mum and Dad" program did, and make statements that kind of imply criticism on prospective parents for not feeling able to adopt older children. The difference between saying "the majority of prospective parents do not feel able to adopt an older child" and "the majority of prospective parents want young healthy babies" is actually quite a big difference IMHO

MyFeetAreCold Thu 10-Apr-14 16:59:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsDeVere Thu 10-Apr-14 17:59:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Coconutty Thu 10-Apr-14 18:01:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Devora Thu 10-Apr-14 18:43:31

I'll be here!

soontobeethree Thu 10-Apr-14 19:35:30

I'm watching tonight too.

redfishbluefish Thu 10-Apr-14 20:01:16

Me too

crazeekitty Thu 10-Apr-14 20:35:51

I'm interested to see how much they show behind the scenes.

'matching' was non-existent in my experience.

"I'm interested in adopting Ethel"
"we've got an adopter for Ethel after years and years. Ooh. They both like animals. Quick. Rubber stamp it".

Lilka Thu 10-Apr-14 21:03:15

I found it was like that with DD1 crazee

Long time ago now, but...she was 10, already a disrupted adoption, wanted a single mum, emotional and behavioural issues

There's Lilka, she's a single mum, wants an older girl, we have to have her. But what about this behaviour issue? And this one? This background information? It might put Lilka off. Answer = dont bother telling her

Luckily, despite the fact that DD2 had even more needs, they went slowly and gave me so much information. The difference was amazing

Lilka Thu 10-Apr-14 21:08:15

sad I'm near tears already

Treaclepot Thu 10-Apr-14 21:09:59

Me too.

Sleepingbunnies Thu 10-Apr-14 21:10:08

Going to watch on C4+1 after iv dyed my hair! Marking place!

Velvet1973 Thu 10-Apr-14 21:10:47

Me too Lilka. Such lovely children and it is seriously making me think hard about the age range we will ask to be approved for.

Snargaluff Thu 10-Apr-14 21:11:35

This is sad

Lilka Thu 10-Apr-14 21:14:20

"can i go and knock on some doors"

sad sad

That's done it, I'm crying now

Velvet1973 Thu 10-Apr-14 21:15:43

I can't believe she discounted the couple that said siblings 0-6 surely they would at least be approached?

Karbea Thu 10-Apr-14 21:16:10

Yep the "can't I go and knock on some doors got me too"

I'd love to adopt a child sad

MerryInthechelseahotel Thu 10-Apr-14 21:18:37

Wish she would knock on my door!

Mrs4561 Thu 10-Apr-14 21:18:50

Could anyone give a quick recap on last weeks episode?

Lilka Thu 10-Apr-14 21:19:11

Right I've calmed down now

Tommy is gorgeous

Mrs4561 Thu 10-Apr-14 21:19:13

Pressed send too soon ... I missed it and really wanted to see it

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now