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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Yes, I'm a stranger to this board but please be kind - I've been seriously wanting to adopt for many years but feel it's "out of reach"...

(12 Posts)
Alambil Thu 03-Apr-14 22:28:44

I live in a 2 bed council house with no "need" for more rooms, so no possibility of moving.

Is that an the dead end, complete "no" to adoption? to not have a room for the child?

I've thought about adoption for many years but as a full time working single parent - is it even possible?

I have no idea about criteria or well, anything really but was invited over by flighty from the thread in chat about 15000 kids - I hope I haven't upset anyone; I genuinely do want to adopt, but am not sure it's do-able in my situation.

Alambil Thu 03-Apr-14 22:30:39

oh, also - I'm very overweight which I'm guessing is another big "no"?

Devora Thu 03-Apr-14 22:59:03

Hi LewisFan. I'm guessing you have one birth child?

I've only ever come across one adopter who was approved without a separate room for the new child, and that was me. Still quietly amazed I pulled that off, though I ended up moving to a bigger place before matching. I think that it would be very hard to get approved if you can't offer a new child their own room, and I think there are very good reasons for that.

How is the layout of your place? Any chance of partitioning an existing room?

Lots of adoptive parents work FT (including me) but you do have to be prepared to take a significant chunk of time off at the beginning (usually a year) and perhaps to alter your working patterns if the child's needs require that.

Very overweight can be a big issue, depending on how overweight. Putting it brutally, anything that may limit your healthy years will be an issue with children who have endured so much loss already, and this may be even more significant with a single parent.

That all sounds very negative, but on the other hand they are all things you might be able to do something about?

Alambil Thu 03-Apr-14 23:04:27

oh yes, I'm working on the weight anyway - but "right now" it's a massive barrier (and I can totally understand why)

I do have one birth child, yes - he's 11 now smile I've been alone since he was 6m and no sniff of a relationship, so hardly likely I'll be having others!

Our house is all of 14ft wide and about 30ft long - it's tiny; an old miners cottage 2 up 2 down, bathroom used to be outdoors jobby - no chance to partition and it's council owned, if that makes a difference.

I wonder what council housing rules on moving to adopt are? I might call to find out - not that it's likely to happen right now, obviously but just because I'm nosey.

Polkadotpatty Thu 03-Apr-14 23:15:15

Hello and welcome smile

There are much wiser and more experienced people than me, who will be along to offer you more info. The things you list are all considerations, but do not need to prevent you from being able to adopt.

In terms of timing, it's generally preferred to have a fairly large age gap between any birth children and an adopted child, so that might affect your plans?

There are some weight threads on here - yes, it's part of any assessment, and something many of us had to work on, but it's not usually going to rule you out as long as you're honest and working with the social worker.

And you can be single - it's definitely allowed smile

I think what would happen re housing is you'd get approved by the adoption panel, then take their letter to the housing dept, and that would support an application for a separate bedroom for an adopted child. They do need their own room. A child wouldn't then be placed until you had enough space. Others may very well know loads more than me about this one.

Alambil Thu 03-Apr-14 23:24:00

DS is 11.5 Polka - I hope that's a "large" gap, even to Social Care LOL!

Italiangreyhound Fri 04-Apr-14 01:42:11

Hi Lewisfan I love Lewis! I have a crush on Hathaway!

Curiously, not all councils need you to have a separate room but it does depend where you live!

"Have a spare room (or a big enough bedroom if adopting a child of the same sex as the other child in your home) and be aware of safety issues surrounding bringing up a child. "

Personally, I would really want to have a separate room for the new child. Also, if they were to share the children would need to be the same gender.

Or maybe look into this old news from 2011.....

www.insidehousing.co.uk/prospective-adopters-to-get-council-housing-help/6519149.article

www.conservativehome.com/localgovernment/2011/11/housing-rules-should-help-those-wishing-to-foster-and-adopt.html

www.bradford.gov.uk/bmdc/health_well-being_and_care/child_care/adoption_and_fostering/adoption/can_i_adopt

Please do join us on the weight loss BMI adoption thread at ...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/adoptions/1729438-Lowering-a-BMI?msgid=46193381#46193381

Italiangreyhound Fri 04-Apr-14 01:44:22

Sorry the Bradford link goes with the quote...

www.bradford.gov.uk/bmdc/health_well-being_and_care/child_care/adoption_and_fostering/adoption/can_i_adopt

"Have a spare room (or a big enough bedroom if adopting a child of the same sex as the other child in your home) and be aware of safety issues surrounding bringing up a child. "

MyFeetAreCold Fri 04-Apr-14 16:56:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fusedog Fri 04-Apr-14 17:33:18

Um have to looked into swapping I did this moved from a 2 bed to a 3 bed there are a lot of people who want to down size due to the bedroom tax

Try home swapper or try the housing officer

Alambil Fri 04-Apr-14 23:02:16

I haven't looked in to anything seriously as I won't be in a financial position to adopt for a lonnnnnng time (job's in the balance etc)... I just wondered if I'd HAVE to move before I even considered it.

I really do wish I were in a position to get on with it, but that's not how my life seems to be going!

drspouse Sat 05-Apr-14 12:14:48

If you're talking years before adopting - will your DS have left home?
You probably wouldn't get new housing for an adult child plus a preschool child but if your DS had left home and just stayed on the sofa bed when he visited, you would have a spare room for the new child?

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