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Adoption

just curious can social services

40 replies

OurMiracle1106 · 28/03/2014 17:16

Stop a former birth parent from having an abortion?

Although im on the implant, pill and use condoms coupled with the fact that our son was a miracle (was told I would need ivf but fell pregnant the same day) I know it's highly unlikely to happen. However it came up in conversation the other day. Can social services actually stop me from having an abortion? I don't honestly think I could go through a pregnancy knowing my child would be taken away at birth.

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Lottiedoubtie · 28/03/2014 17:19

I'm not sure I quite understand your question?

In the UK abortion (up to a certain point) is legal, so why would social services have an interst in stopping that if that's what the mother wants?

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Collection · 28/03/2014 17:20

No and frankly, why would they?

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OurMiracle1106 · 28/03/2014 17:23

My concern is the criteria for abortion as far as I'm aware is it being detrimental to the mother's physical/ mental health. If social services were concerned the abortion could also be detrimental to the mothers health could they prevent it from happening. I am aware it is legal but it's done via doctors and they could inform social services

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Lottiedoubtie · 28/03/2014 17:26

Social services would have to take advice from the doctor on that, they couldn't just 'decide'.

Why would they? What/who would it benefit?

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grabaspoon · 28/03/2014 17:26

No - surely it's your body.

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Collection · 28/03/2014 17:30

Why would an abortion be more detrimental to the mother's health than a term pregnancy that resulted in the baby being removed?

The harsh reality is that an abortion would be seen to solve everyone's problems.

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OurMiracle1106 · 28/03/2014 17:30

They can also argue it's a sibling for my son. It's just something that came up and after the story of a forced c section it's made me think about it deeply.

See I can see it both ways. Having another child taken would destroy me however both my miscarriages have left large lasting imprints on me and a huge sense of guilt. I dont honestly know what my doctor would suggest.

I also wondered that if my doctor did Nt contact them I dont actually have to tell them do i?

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Lottiedoubtie · 28/03/2014 17:33

They won't block a legal abortion. You obviously have a lot of residual fear/anxiety as a result of previous dealings with them, but really, you don't need to worry about this.

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MoominsYonisAreScary · 28/03/2014 17:35

I wouldnt have thought so

As for the c section, she was term and had serious mental health problem. That would have been decided by her doctors/consultant not ss

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Collection · 28/03/2014 17:36

I you had an early abortion I think it's highly unlikely that SS would ever know.

Are you (subconsciously) hoping there is a way you can be "forced" to have another baby?

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MoominsYonisAreScary · 28/03/2014 17:37

Also how would ss even know if you were pg and going for an abortion, id think they would only need informing if you were keeping the baby

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OurMiracle1106 · 28/03/2014 17:37

I was looking more at mental health. Stress is a known trigger of my epilepsy (though was fine despite being evicted when pregnant n had normal birth though was offered the option of asking for a c section)

It has taken me a year to come to terms with my ds being taken losing another after doing everything in my power to stop that from happening would probably be too much.

I should also add that 8 days after final goodbye contact I took too many sleeping tablets as I wasnt coping

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OurMiracle1106 · 28/03/2014 17:42

collection I am working very hard to make sure that if I do ever have another child my mental health is such that the child would remain with me. Therapy was recommended and I am doing it though have a lot more to do.

Thats abanother question do they automatically get informed. I mean people change their minds about abortion all the time.

Also being on the implant I dont have periods. And with all tthree of my pregnancies I havent had a positive test until at least 9 weeks.

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MoominsYonisAreScary · 28/03/2014 17:43

Ive worked in mh, have never know a case where a women has been forced to continue with a pg when she wanted an early abortion. No mh professional would say it is better for a womens mh to continue with a pg rather than have an early termination

Actually I dont think any hcp would say that and Ive never heard of a case where a women has been forced to continue to term in that situation.

Do you have any support, councilling etc it sounds like you are quite anxious understandably

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OurMiracle1106 · 28/03/2014 17:44

I am doing counselling and lots of it

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MoominsYonisAreScary · 28/03/2014 17:45

Sorry xpost

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TheScience · 28/03/2014 17:47

If you had a social worker, and they were concerned you lacked mental capacity to consent to an abortion for yourself, they could ask a court to decide.

Child protection social workers wouldn't be involved unless you were a child yourself.

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OneOfOurLilkasIsMissing · 28/03/2014 17:48

Oh goodness no, they couldn't do that and they wouldn't either - their remit is children who are already born. With the c section case, the c section was NOT anything to do with SS, it was the doctors making those decisions and applying to the courts.

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OurMiracle1106 · 28/03/2014 17:48

I have never had a social worker so I guess they couldnt suddenly allocate me one

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AnnieLobeseder · 28/03/2014 17:50

I'm so sorry your son was taken from you, and I can understand why you wouldn't want to go through that again.

Women in the UK can terminate a pregnancy at any time up to 24 weeks and for any reason they choose - no person or agency has power to stop it. And I see no reason why it would be any business of SS.

I hope you make a full recovery. Good luck.

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BalloonSlayer · 28/03/2014 17:56

I'm reading this as: the OP is worried that if she gets pregnant again, SS may take steps to take the baby into immediate care as soon as it is born; she is therefore considering that if it was decided that this was going to happen, she would have an abortion rather than give her baby up for adoption. This brings the further worry that the SS could stop her having that abortion and make her have the baby so it can be adopted.

Is that right, OP?

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OurMiracle1106 · 28/03/2014 18:00

Yes pretty much tbh.

I plan to be in a place where the child would remain with me and would want all assessments done possible before trying to conceive. Ie a psychiatric assessment by the same doctor the court instructed etc

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Maiyakat · 28/03/2014 19:10

A health professional wouldn't inform Social Services you were pregnant until it was known the pregnancy was viable (so at the earliest after the 12 week scan). If you chose to have an early abortion they wouldn't need to know. The only time I could imagine a Social Worker getting involved in an abortion case would be if it was a very vulnerable person (e.g. learning difficulties) and the doctor was concerned they didn't have capacity or were being coerced into the decision.

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HaitchJay · 28/03/2014 20:00

SW here. I've supported numerous families when the mother has had an abortion as they couldn't cope with another baby for what ever reason.As long as the abortion was legal I don't see why anyone would bother.

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Italiangreyhound · 28/03/2014 21:32

Miracle try not to worry, I know it is easy for me to say! I am sure no one would force you to have the child or anything else but you do want to get well and healthy and face your future.

Bless you, I am sure it is a very difficult time for you, try not to add to it by fears that are very unlikely to be a reality.

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